Coffeeholic's Hour

5 things I've learnt before Christmas

2011-12-20T17:24:00.005+08:00

1) Never ever attempt funny stunts in conferences. Your customers tend to remember them well.

2) The gay-pseudo is challenging my EQ, testing my patience, insulting my IQ, and yet I learn to fake some love as if he is my BFF.

3) I deserve the criticism of being unprofessional if only I spill my hatred in your face, and have done it publicly.

4) Get some balls, or have I just crushed them accidentally? Oh, maybe I just did.

5) Merry Christmas to the bunch of assholes I'm working with, as I have this huge epiphany of 'Boxing Day is a day to be celebrated after Christmas' - to officially get your asses bashed afterward.

11.11.11

2011-11-14T21:27:00.004+08:00

Months ago I wasn't sure how would I want to pick up the befriending mood to make a new colleague feel welcoming when the existing fellow left the department while I was on field work. All I knew was he had really charming emcee voice.

And I thought he was not helpful at work. Coercive invitation was sent to him to help out in my event - he made me go chagrin by trying to pull my legs during the event. Guess I was too rigid to put up with his jokes. And I thought he was a bad influence. He would pester me for daily unofficial 4pm tea break at pantry, without fail. He said, I needed a break hence, the tea-break.

And I thought he was kinda cool for making breakthrough from departmental state to office changes. He made me ponder and talked me into implementation and completing a proposal I thought I would never want to start it for thinking the idea would not be sold. And I thought I was lucky to have found an addition to Starbucks Joy Luck Club. This was where all the magics happened - a birthplace for all the advertising ideas and business plans. Oh forgot not the sacred hideout for gossiping as well. Other than the manager, he could easily calm me and inject the positive vibes to lighten the worst thing I could do to ruin the harmonious environment.

And I thought we could always hang out like friends someday. He then announced about his resignation. And I thought I would cry. Before he left, he tried to fill me with heaps of ideas and wanted me to help realising all plans, if possible. I can hardly admire someone and be truly inspired by his positivity, passion, and energy in life - guess he could be the first. Ah! he is my second mentor after my manager, just in case you wonder about our relationship, minus all the scandalous remarks that have been circulated in the office.

And I thought 11.11.11 was just another ordinary day in my life. Definitely it is a leap of faith in yours.

See you in another Starbucks Joy Luck Club session!

Make believe

2011-09-25T15:46:00.005+08:00

I have a lot of lovely couples as friends. They will be missing their partners when going out separately. Every single bit of thing will remind them of their other halves. They are so much in love like they first met each other. Every sweet gesture that makes you envy how great they have found each other. Of course, I missed those days we were all still single and available, and being carefree from the world. And yet, I am glad they have found their reliable half that completes them in a way of being loved.

Most of my friends have found their other wonderful halves since college. All of those loving scenes resemble the real couples' portrayal from Plain White T's' 1,2,3,4 music video and I'd wish to capture those every unpretentious, precious moment to remind myself this love thing is real.

To secretly reveal the fact that every time I look at your pictures, that truly makes my day effortlessly.

Thank you for making me believe true love still exists :)

Pool story

2011-09-11T15:38:00.000+08:00

I have been learning swimming from my colleague slash friend in the past 2 months. The lessons go on sporadically and such randomness actually takes me quite some time to master the basics; also thanks to her persistence and my empathy for a pregnant lady who only sleeps better after swimming hence I decided to be her companion and by any chance maybe I could try to drown myself and swim. So we are kind of gung-ho about the after-work swimming session. No more after-work beer session, you see, as I’m pretty disturbed by the fact of being called ‘fat’ by a man who has bigger belly than my colleague’s pregnant tummy. That, of course, is my goddamn good motivation to make myself exercise.

Day 1 to day 5, I barely even knew how to breathe. All I did was trying to finish the lap without breathing and of course, I swallowed some chlorine and got my nose suffered. Until her husband took turn and came to rescue the hopeless me from asylum starting from day 6.

3 scattered laps in one night marked my achievement in my day 11. My friend’s husband is not a professional but his coaching attitude is definitely professional than any other coach out there. And I gotta tell all the beginner swimmer, I fucking sprained my back because I swam almost every day and pushed myself too hard. I don’t know how did it happen but seriously, take it slow and relax in the water.

Under the water, I feel free.

The next thing I realise is I’m a changed person. I have a new hobby.

原来寂寞

2011-08-20T15:43:00.001+08:00

好多人说过最寂寞的时候是置身在喧闹的人群中，心里却依然感觉孤单。

而我为寂寞定下了另一个意义：

当心里没有一个可以想念的人时，你却拼命地想填补那个空缺，此刻你应该也是寂寞的。

Carousel

2011-07-20T14:12:00.003+08:00

It used to be an ultimate fun carousel to me. A merry-go-round that was occupied by adults and kids; we sure had a kind captain who was in charge of the carousel's speed as well as the riders to be qualified on board. The captain believed the carousel should be a rider-powered rotating platform hence everyone should learn the discipline when being on board with others. Sometimes there were minor arguments and debate. Sometimes they held grudges against each other. But most of the times they would end the downs when another held their hands highly through a rough ride, which usually followed by heaps with laughter and riders' very own senses of humour.

When I first rode on the carousel, I was so envious of being fitted in their silly jokes. Most of them were very fun riders. They guided me on the seating, how to hold the handle, trying the new stunts to ensure I had the fun when I was bored with the traditional ride. They held me up when I fell from the seating, offered me candies when they had two in hands. I loved riding on that carousel until the light went off, and I could not wait to be the first rider in the next morning. Best thing of all was, the other riders would walk me home, take me for dinner, and treat me more than just a rider, or rather, a friend.

Lately, bullies intruded our carousel that induced some familiar riders left and hopped for other more comfortable ones. I saw sorrow and disappointment from whoever still rode on their usual seating. It was foreseeable the familiar faces would give up hope and drop the idea of defending our carousel. You might ask me now, where art thou captain?

One might have lost the heart when carousel is no longer one's priority.

And it is happening now.

Another life and death phase

2011-07-19T08:43:00.004+08:00

It has always been good thing for the rise of Twitter and the saturation of blogging market. When people tend to retrieve quick information from tweet, they bother not to read lengthy writing piece, hence people like me would have written with less restriction in mind.

It has been a while I last updated my friends of my whereabouts. All I would say is things have been spiraling up and down in erratic mode, which I thought I could have died young if I mishandled any trifles in life. Sounds exaggerating, you think. Once I spoke to a friend about the ups and downs. You gotta understand he has known me for almost all my life, hence I could not blame him snorted at my paranoia and naivety about life and death. But this one is pretty tough for me. I had already lost someone I loved and who had loved me for more than 24 years. It was comforting to know that he actually asked about me when he had a stronger heart to do so. I thought it was, you know, a phase of life and death; time will heal the scars, blah-blah. And it has yet healed mine.

Thinking of them marry for 58 years - he bought her groceries and veggies, enjoyed traditional kopi-o, watched TV, travelled and gossiped together - and those routines were repeated everyday without fail. The other day I was drafting this proposal and glanced through the clock on desktop, mind was routing back to the familiar setting - of having my grandma watch TV in the living room, without any human communication, she stared at her favourite drama, which used to be their favourite entertainment a month ago. My nose went sour, seeing her stare at the same picture for not knowing how to switch channel. And she had no one to discuss the plot with. That loneliness strike me so hard that I thought I could try to speak with her but physically I wasn't there for her. Sucked up all the tears I could have overflown in reality, I then let them all out again when I drove home. That was the hardest night I had ever been.

I might not learn so much about love when I was young and I could not promise I could master it as time goes by. Nevertheless, I should have known how to love someone better compared to the last time I devoted in. Love was the last, best thing you had left for all of us.

Elevator goes up, elevator comes down

2011-01-29T14:48:00.003+08:00

Business travellers might seem very fun in the eyes of others. In truth, it isn't a business fairytale. Stepping on high heels, with huge backpack on the back, check-in counter, loafing around the lounge with eyes sticking on the phone screen, thinking of tonnes of things to do while checking out the airport... even a cup of cheap, tasteless coffee does not matter at all. Mind has been restructured and rehearsed of what kind of game face should one put on, as the customers are all unfamiliar, unpredictable to you. Coping with people in the morning, checking piled-up emails in the evening, drinking before going to bed. And best thing of all, I unchecked name card from the list. Oh boy, it's an endless ride till I touch my bed.

Monday blue is genuinely true. Friday night is the exact opposite.

ME time

2011-01-22T17:47:00.003+08:00

It's nice being single by waking up without an alarm clock, schedules reminder, phone calls, SMS, and everything in here is so quiet and peaceful with no parents or kids screaming at each other or mat rempit testing their vehicle's exhaust system. Had a piece of strawberry chocolates to help boosting the body's glucose level. Scrutinising self in the mirror, checking the fats and some pimple blemishes, and practicing some nice, sunny smiles before going off to freshen-up, as I do really believe in the magic of kicking start my day with heaps of smiling reflection over the mirror.

No plans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Watching my all-time favourite Stephen Chow's movies while enjoying brunch, coffee and laughter derived from good ol' Hong Kong movie jokes, in a cozy 2-person couch with all sizes of pillows. Little did I know here is the place full of inspirations, be it at work or at life. Sometimes I spend time on beauty and hair treatments; sometimes washing and vacuuming the car as alternative; sometimes I make sure the house and front yard are in squeaky-clean state; sometimes I spend an afternoon in doing groceries; sometimes brisk walk at Bukit Kiara after buying some fruits from TTDI; sometimes I still think of planning and analysis stuff at work.

Quoted my handsome housemate, "What do I do on weekends? Nothing. I love waking up without having anything in mind. No dates, no plans, no deadlines, and maybe being domestic."

By looking back of so many things I could have done on weekends, on second thought, I shall choose to be single, unless all my friends are getting hitched and ditch me for another stage of life, which I think the situation begins to shift its trend as what's predicted in life-changing stage, and then I reckon it's really time to get a boyfriend for a date as well as to look after my car. Hmmm guess nobody actually puts so much thought of what to do during me-time but planning to fit in as many parties as possible when being invited.

Well, I'm just anti-social after work and am emotional balance, however.

Boil some congees with lil bro

2011-01-22T17:23:00.002+08:00

Okay I'm going to type something easy for my brother to read since he has been complaining about his confusion towards the strings of all the stories jotted in this blog. I received his telephone call this morning with both of us yawning over the phone, trying to troubleshoot some simple IT issues back at his house. Then we diverted our conversations to some daily mundane and grinds. He commented on how superficial of my current profile picture in Facebook, how lousy my blog sounds like, how I wasn't not getting ready to woo a boyfriend while he's on his way to make some nice college girls his girlfriend, what can be done to rescue me from being single, why shouldn't I post on his wall because I'm old and lame, which university should he enrol in after Foundation course, why shouldn't I stalk him on his FB account... so it's so all about us siblings. If my mother tried to make him to call me, he would throw in that kind of expression with ultimate disgust, said "Why should I call her? We have nothing common to talk about."

Now I realise we both share love-hate relationship with each other.

To Conquer Bukit Kiara

2011-01-20T22:32:00.003+08:00

1) Run on weekly basis
2) Go on serious, healthy diet
3) Develop other hobbies besides Frisbee
4) Need more me-time when necessary
5) Train the stamina and breathing system
6) Tone up the freaking elephant thighs
7) Want to look awesome in dresses
8) Part of training for Mount Kinabalu
9) Hate being fat in gauge of Coffeeholic's standard
10) Meet some quality men *cough* kidding mate *cough*

Successfully cut down junks to complement the plan:

1) Chips.
2) Candies.
3) Lollipop.
4) Dinner.
5) Supper.
6) Carbohydrate beverage.

Scattered memories, undelivered Christmas parcel, and a broken guitar

2011-01-09T19:11:00.005+08:00

The telephone calls you made from the other side of the world during working hour and the jokes I created that cracked you up. You never stopped teasing me when I filled in the wrong documents and yet you amended it all eventually. We exchanged the routines we have had in our lives; and sometimes you told me about how clear the skies were when you stopped by Victoria harbour, whereas most of the time it's about the incidents you met on the bus or the stuffs that reminded you about me. I threatened you to skip gig practices so I could hear you play from home, minus the horrible singing. You are the first guy telling me I have a nice smile; you swore the success of your confession over your favourite signature guitar; it was smashed while I broke your heart. The decision teared your heart but little did you know your sentiment broke me down inch by inch and we ended our last telephone conversation with only shaking voices. That night, long distance defeated both of us, swiftly and silently - and I've lost a friend, and you.

老掉牙

2011-01-06T23:10:00.004+08:00

去年过得快到我都感觉不到那种速度如此地逼近我去接受新的一年的开始。你问我到底做了些什么？我说学了很多，真的很多。从工作、处世、人际，到书籍、电影、和生活，，每个芝麻绿豆的小细节都可以让人领悟每件事情发生的始与终都有着其中的连贯性联系 - 其中就是怎么学会活在过程。

我感激去年，亲手为自己买了代步工具作为一个拥有经济能力的指标。我感激身边的人给我很多机会去做我热爱的工作。一份不需要天天待在公司工作、只要自己懂得争取机会去学习都有办法去实现、充满创意和挑战的工作和自由，我真的很感激。另外，因为从前的家庭教育要我常常学习压抑着自己的情绪和想要的意念去取悦他人；而如今我要学会开敞胸怀，去坦诚自己的情绪和意念之余，也要身边的人为我所作的决定而支持我，而不要单方面一味地要求我去配合他们的情绪做人。我感激身边的人真正地为我开心和支持我的意愿，也帮忙我渡过很多难关。我感激每年还有能力和体力出国旅行作为长年工作的回馈、挑战人体极限。原本想投资人生中第一份人寿保险，回头想想，预防胜于治疗，我该往另一个角度去看待自己的健康，而选择投资于体育装备去运动，投入多点时间去准备更有营养的餐单。我感激我还有能力去照顾一个完好无缺的身体，除了已经有三年前还没能力拔掉的四根智慧牙，到现在时不时会让我偶尔痛苦一下下。

我相信自己一直坚持的理念都没错，I wanna be happy and I'm happy, literally, by enjoying every single companionship and all the laughter. 总而言之，无论今年会是怎样，去年已经很美好，今年就算是普普通通，没什么大意外，无伤大雅的小惊喜也无妨。

“从前我希望他每天都陪着我，所以经常责怪他练功；他每一次跟别人比武我都会发脾气。我从来没有真正支持他做自己喜欢做的事情。现在可能是他最后一次比武了。”
张永成摘自电影《叶问》

Christmas Drunk

2010-12-24T23:07:00.001+08:00

For someone who merely met me twice and is able to point out my overwhelming ambitiousness at work as well as in life, which I really thought I kept this well to myself, she must be the first to say so. Her expression spoke a lot about how she used to be as ambitious as the current me, and this reflection made me contemplate of how I did not want to end my passion when reaching certain point of time.

"You're underachieved. I'm sure you can do more than just that," that rang the bell after finishing my third pints of beer. Meaning I was still relaxed, insisting on the perspective of work-life balance in such golden age when I could use that time to achieve something better? Right, to be penned down as new year resolution?

Testing patience

2010-12-19T21:45:00.000+08:00

When looking back in anger, there is nothing worth so much of your energy to be angry over things that were seemingly the trigger of your wrath whereas it's completely nothing in the eyes of the third parties, and they might even think it's you who magnify a trivia and escalate it to an issue. So why ruin an establishing reputation when the subject is in the aim of bringing you down? Appropriate rant might be a good start.

A story of a free condominium

2010-11-30T19:29:00.005+08:00

Today is the day to ponder again, why on earth the people lay so much love on me even knowing the fact that I'm lousy? Some people call it popularity. Some call it personal charm. But really, you think this is effortless? Doesn't it bring you to a quest that what on earth had happened and brought me to some deep thoughts?

Personal injury happened when I was doing stock-take in warehouse. Haslin was the one terrified with my dripping tears when my forehead accidentally hit the RO ramp so hard and it forced the tears out. I couldn't bother the bleeding shit until I had my work done, all the abang-abang managed to dig out some dettols, iodins, cotton buds from their pathetic first-aid and stopped the wound from bleeding then shooed me back to the main office, with one patch of funny bud on my forehead. Met Eija at the basement and she kept asking me to pack my stuff and go to clinic, which I refused because the freaking stock cards were saviour to my kak darling. Once I reached the office entrance, the crowd went totally crazy - that stupid patch, dripping tears, and red eyes.

Directors and Managers ran for first-aid kit, made ice pack, and also laughed while giving helping hands. Very hilariously heartwarming by seeing these uncles and aunties tried to stop me from dripping tears and bleeding wound. They did not know the tears could not stop was partially due to that pain, mostly was owing to their caring and loving towards me.

They advised me to boil egg and get rid of the swell, checked me on the symptoms, put on antiseptic cream and swallow capsule (which I was totally against it), forced me to take MC and claimed insurance, eat more goreng pisang, and don't cry because all of them told me they had bigger wounds/scars. However, guilt lingered on those who asked me to go stock-take on behalf of them HA HA!

Toward the end of the day, the Clinical Manager came over and gave me a bear hug, "Sayang I hope you're alright. Sorry mommy wasn't there for you because just now too many people can't wait to take care of you." OH MY GOSH. It melted my heart and I thought the wound was immediately cured. In other words, if tomorrow someone concerns about the injury, I'm still loved regardless of timing.

I think I am home already, so sweet to have these people sayang even knowing the fact that I'm spoilt, lousy, and such attention seeker :) Bet they accept the real me already.

Young Victoria & Prince Albert

2010-11-20T19:27:00.000+08:00

It's very hard to not notice the kindness and especially the love of Prince Albert, King of Belgium for Queen Victoria - a man who is willing to stay with the Queen till his last breath, willing to stand by his wife without asking for popularity and support from the people. It's all the duties he draws purely out of the word of love, his faith and belief in her ruling the country, and his ever-supportive, confidence, and guidance in succeeding the sovereign for twenty years.

I like love stories like that. In history. Because it happened. It could be dramaticised and yet I'm sure some part of it must be real.

Some people think pure love is naive, unpractical. Does that notion negate you from searching something you wish to float on surface in the ocean of people? First, you want to get the right person. Then, you want to get a hold of his/her thought. Next, you try to change him/her to fit in your bill. Everyone keeps experimenting on the subjects they have in hand and waiting for a desirable result. I would agree to you, yes, a relationship requires some experiments - to test out the chemistry, to observe the subject's response, and then conclusion - and it definitely works scientifically if that's the right word, explainable way in describing of a relationship's workflow. But that's not love because it is pure abstract and subjective. It all depends on how you define it - and yet the third parties always are highly opinionated, thinking that they would have better judgements than the couples themselves.

Buying a Gucci could be very appreciated when first receiving the gift and showing it to your relatives - it is a very directive approach to make pleasant feeling contagiously appeal to you and the people around you. Companionship to a all-girl drinking party and waiting outside with a coat in hand after the event ends - I'd say he has brought love to a personal level, a feeling one has wholly owned it as his move makes you feel the sense of belonging - wherever you are, he will stay. He reserves that pleasant feeling for you and only you will feel special when he does that and means it.

Today, people hunger for physical companion. I still hunger for love - something I wish to be developed naturally.

Attention seeker

2010-11-16T12:14:00.001+08:00

I wore a skirt to office. Technically, it was a low-cut cocktail dress but I put on a top and ta-daa it became a new outfit (Nobody thought it was a dress until I told them and they were amazed). The point was I only wore black trousers to work since commencement. So the purple skirt made a big hoo-ha in the office and eventually the spotlight hit on me, which I thought they were really overreacted. First, the PA and customer service department could not stop teasing me. Then, the HR. Business team came next. Even the Marketing department. Lastly, MD.

HR Manager and MD walked out the room. She tried to be funny with me and pointed to boss that I wore extraordinary outfit to work, "You see Shuying wears a skirt to work. Her legs so long leh." Best part of all, his eyes were sparkled in the midst of texting via BB. "Come come, let me see. Wah so pretty. CJ you should wear like that to work next time. I wouldn't sign any attire claims if it isn't skirt or dress." Touche to HRM for she is taller than me. Thanks to me for setting such precedent to her.

To be frank, it's really flattering to have all the compliments and encouragement to fit myself in skirts and dresses. But in the following weeks, it would be better to stick with my usual boring outfits. Not much time to spare on mix-n-match.

Still in gay mood

2010-11-14T12:11:00.001+08:00

Didn't really realise since when it all started that people start to introduce guys to me, literally and practically. I was like putting on blind dates, which people can be conveniently getting to my friends and I's table.

Yesterday I dreamt about a guy reading his vows to me. All I knew he was a Chinese guy and he spoke fluent Mandarin. A very quick flashback of from how this guy courting on me to getting nervous when I never agreed to legal kinship and he tried a lot of ways to make marriage proposal. He was a Christian/Catholic (uncertain but one of it for sure). I remembered I was wearing a white lacey tube dress by the poolside. We didn't walk down the aisle in a church. Hence, he showed me his vows. He asked for my preference of reading it alone or he would read it out loud for me. The vow was about the journey of how he felt for me. There were only two lines I remembered for the ending:

"I will risk anything to remind you how much I love you if you have forgotten them someday;

But if love doesn't exist for you anymore, I wish I could be the first person to know when to leave you for a better guy who would take good care of you more than I do. Truly I wish the day never comes and this love will stay."

It teared my heart when I woke up this morning. And I guess it's only just a dream.

Classic introduction

2010-10-09T12:15:00.002+08:00

Company trip was held in Club Med, Cherating. We had our drinking sessions every evening. 7 girls in a table was a pretty easy target by others. Our MD was nice enough to tell us of he met a young GO manager and was eager to introduce him to us. So we were like, okay go ahead. He literally brought the guy to our table and started the introduction.

"This is W. Customer service department. She's still single."
"This is A, PA. She's also single."
"This is F from Business team. Oh never mind, she's married."
"Then, S from Finance. Also not available."
"This is Y. Aiyah never mind, married."
"And A also not available."

"Oh this is Shuying from Marketing department. Still single. Come Shuying, stand up and see who is taller."

I was like, wtf.

Wasn't it the way to freak the guys out?! Everyone laughed at him for how lousy the introduction went. So when the guy left, I talked to boss, "Actually hor, I am more interested to the angmoh sitting by the poolside. Can try to bring him over ar?" He looked outside, paused, and snorted, "That one ar? Cheh. Angmoh not nice one. I will find a better one for you."
Isn't my boss classic or what!

Love-hate relationship with spectacles

2010-09-16T21:37:00.004+08:00

The first time I tested my eyesight power was back in 11 years old. I had my first glasses with the power of -1.50 and -1.30. Changed my glasses as the power shot up to -2.50 and -3.00 in less than 5 years. It could be owing to my nose attached to the glasses so much and it eventually relied on each other with very less separation. My aunty pointed out how sepet of my eyes back then and she actually advised me to avoid wearing glasses. I heeded her advice since then.

Eyesight power decreased from -3.00 to -2.75 and the other eye remained -2.50 but the specialist adjusted both of my power to -2.75 in my third glasses. As I recalled, the eye specialist was asking sarcastically that why didn't I meet accident without wearing specs in frequent manners.

I have not been feeling comfortable with wearing glasses in the past 2 years back in Brisbane. People teased me of wanting to appear pretty in the sight of public. Slight dizzy is one thing. Another thing is I felt okay without putting it on, even seeing blurry objects in far distance. I didn't go for any optical examination until few hours ago, I was attracted to 80% sales in a random optical shop so I thought I might give it a go. The specialist examined me from the optical machine and asked for my previous eyesight power.

"Result generated from the computer is both sides are also -2.00. It could not be accurate until you get manual examination." I thought I heard it wrongly. How could it be possible, you see?

So I went into the room for manual examination. Left side was -2.00 with no astigmatism. Right side was -2.00 with 0.75 astigmatism. WTF? I used to have 0.50 astigmatism on left eye and 1.50 on right eye and now 0.50 was like, gone? I told her I wasn't wearing any glasses or contact lenses lest driving or facing computer. Her jaws dropped. Then she adjusted my lenses power to -2.25 because the decreasing was, funny, according to her.

I think my eyesight power is not constant yet. Now I am still considering of optical laser surgery.

Flash marriage

2010-09-08T21:55:00.002+08:00

Whenever I start to clear my throat and can't wait to present my peasant views on topic of love and relationship, people will stop me and drop a very so-called opinionated conclusion that I am that kind of person who very much fits into the trend of flash marriage which would break everyone's glasses. Very exaggerated, I reckon. It is not the first, second, or third, but several times people do mention about I've given such impression in event of love and lust collides, or least, the guy really fits the bill. Hence, there is also a higher possibility of me marrying a prick eventually.

Well, on second thought, their prediction or so-called prophecy might be true - for I really am impulsive for things I love. Not sure about how strong the feeling I can project to a human. Premarital pregnancy is a negative, nevertheless. How sure, you ask. Imagine the forced situation of pregnancy will result in my hatred for the selfish jerk as well as innocent baby for ruining the rest of my life. This kind of hypothetical scenario is so much reflected on one's personality of objecting others' expectation that is really against one's will. A baby that is not produced under bilateral agreement is somehow not going to form a happy family - so what makes you so sure of the newborn will change the whole thing when it's not even a great start in pregnancy stage?

Nowadays I find it so hard to adore any guys on the street, what's more developing an affection towards a specific male species? I know I am so hard to please right now. My colleague once said that her marriage just happened to be happened where a strong realisation hit her and her boyfriend simultaneously, which urged them to create a legal kinship in one random morning. Perhaps this kind of marriage proposal would most likely hit the spot. At least my way of appreciating such romanticism. Oh well.

Lists

2010-09-05T20:04:00.005+08:00

To-Buy List:

Spectacles. The old one has been on my nose for more than 5 years. Bother not the frame is totally not retro or can be classified to vintage.
Camera. Brought a malfunctioned camera to holiday and was picture-less for the entire trip. Now I need to start study reviews.
Canvas shoes. Red in specific. White loafers. CHECKED!
Bags. Working bag is in crisis. 'Legend' is about to retired. And I really need a backpack!
Watch. Simply need a new one.
Wallet. Brauny starts to show signs of retirement.

To-Do List:

Ultimate Frisbee. :( Emo shit.
Exercise. Thinking of a new hobby. Oh well.
Going back hometown. At least thrice a year.
Photo scrapbook. Missing my Down Under life heaps.
Saving for next vacation. One freaking retreat once a year to fit the purpose of saving, other than materialistic sense of security.

A note to all my colleagues

2010-08-30T22:08:00.004+08:00

Dear Intruder(s)/Trespasser(s),

Please leave a kind reminder or gentle message if you need a space to yell.
Because I won't answer your call or reply your SMS HAHAHAHAHA!!
**Sticky memo on your right.
xx
The Menace

Hopefully my terrible humor in black permanent pen will, at least, lighten up their day while cursing over my stupidity, or make them stop by my desk for a few seconds when I am away.

On second thought

2010-08-21T22:04:00.003+08:00

You are trying so hard to dig a truth at all costs. The truth reveals and have you ever wondered why were you even asking in the first place and what did you expect from the truth? No, nothing. Pure curiosity that you can't handle and eventually it turns you into a gossiping machine - insatiable whys bombards and tries to intrude more privacy. Sometimes I might wonder can these people actually handle the truth, by judging of how well you pester with guts?

I think the world just needs more privacy-defenders, or least a nice friend to lift an encirclement.

Self-indulgence happiness

2010-08-20T21:17:00.005+08:00

Let's talk about a meaningful week.

Chopped about 2 inches of my hair on Monday. Nobody realised the haircut even I mentioned it bluntly to everyone I met on Tuesday. They started to realise my youthfulness that stuck in white-collar-boring-black-trousers-3inches-heels OL outfit on Wednesday. I've got acknowledgment and career portfolios on Thursday. A problem-solver on Friday. Juggling between work and Ultimate Frisbee on Saturday. Brand building on Sunday.

Lunched with my mother whom I haven't been eating together for months. You see how ridiculous I have been. Mom is the greatest being on earth - running my errands, buying me food, making me coffee, leaving me work in peace, and most importantly of all, welcoming me home with a smile :)

So I practically grind for 7 days, next 4 days, on 30th and I'm leaving on a jet plane with my favourite bunch and visiting a funny couple!

Plain loath

2010-08-14T23:01:00.002+08:00

First victim shall be the residential guards. I dunno either is their problem or simply is my hatred towards them? Why on earth would they want to create something extra to piss me off, like asking-me-to-park-aside-which-was-far-from-guard-point-got-off-the-car-then-ask-to-register-then-ask-for-IC-and-I-returned-to-car-get-IC-but-she-eventually-ask-me-to-write-down-my-name-only when I was happily going to visit a friend who happened to have huge guard house outside? Does that make them feel extra secured? I have no idea. One thing is, you fucking guards do not own that place. Be polite towards the visitors, instead of treating me like a potential criminal who's ready to burn your guardhouse down. I seriously do not enjoy that kind of inhumane treatment. It's even worse than Sydney airport checkpoint. My evening's spoiled. Great job, guys.

Second victim will be the hairstylists in the hair saloon or studio, whatever. I do not look high on hairstylists who have mediocre cutting skill, try to use styling as weapon of disguise to call it a job, keep harping about styling and products, and think (s)he is all-mighty hairdresser who graduated from reputable academy. I say, fuck you. First of all, wash your hands before touching my hair 'cos cigar smells still linger on your fingers and it disgusts me. Secondly, stop chewing the fucking gum when you can't even enunciate, especially when I seek for your so-called professional advice. Thirdly, stop treating your customers like morons just because we need hair consultation and tell about our disliking. Fourthly, you want to sell your products? Sell it professionally - criticising my current products does not make yours look holy all mighty. And speak English, I know no chemical terminology and you might probably just memorise those and try to con a customer or two.

Third victim is sales assistants from the very well-known cosmetic chains. You wear thick make-up while I appear in your shop in bare-face - so I must be some sort of moronic woman who knows nothing about cosmetics? Nice stereotype. You then put on your thick-make-up cocky face and impatiently show me products AND EXPECT ME TO BUY LOH! I show no interest to the products and she then walks away and serves other customers. I'm fine without being served, you see. The best part is I am curious about certain products and ask how good this is, she replies "You're not the only person who uses this product okay. Customers keep coming back for this and you ask for an assurance. Think for yourself loh." Whoa! She tries to fuck with me about customer service. During non-peak hours with less customers in the shop, what I've seen is girls with emotionless shitty faces standing or leaning against the wall, like waiting impatiently to clock off. Apparently, girls who work in these cosmetic chains are not appreciative towards your purchase and do not enjoy serving customers. Not one, two or three but a whole bunch from not one, or two branches but most branches in Klang Valley.

Seriously, you do not need a marketer to tell you how to be nice to your customers. You just know by heart of how to treat them well. Le sigh, what a world.

Aye aye Ultimate

2010-08-08T21:58:00.004+08:00

It's been such a long time we didn't toss a Frisbee, or rather, planning on a good game like yesterday. More than just a pick-up, and definitely more fun to all of us who missed playing at Oval 7. Everyone showed up with great old Ultimate spirit, brought in more people because we never got enough of people for a game. I still remembered how fun it was to have everyone including the substitutes to play on game point before we called it a night. Australian really knew the fun stuff. Some even drank beer from a Frisbee. The great impression from Nathan was that Ultimate was meant to be fun sports. Winning is bonus. And Kaitlin used to make a remark of what to bring on Wednesday night - a smile :) Not many passionate people are able to inspire me for a game or two. They made me think of missing a game is like missing some fun for a week and we were really looking forward to Wednesdays.

So we want to make Ultimate Frisbee a fortnightly workout for lazy urbanites who tend to find helluva excuses to not exercise. At least it works for me - to practice some toss and build up some stamina. Someday I even think of a rainy game if the group allows.

Another surprise is that now I've got my Ultimate t-shirt with good quality material from the land of Down Under and I'm a 29 and Robbstar is 38! Bong is 00! Debbie, how about yours!!

That evening was incredible. I haven't laughed so much since back in Aussie and my cheeks were literally cramped. How could the people I've known be so fun?! Ultimate FTW!

Who shall be the next on the altar

2010-08-01T22:59:00.006+08:00

Attended my cousin sis' wedding and it was the best I've ever attended and had fun with all my family members. Guess what, we owned the dance floor and everyone was so keen to join us after us warming up the floor. Grandparents from both sides were laughing and clapping on the beat. The best part of all was, the hired singer cheekily requested "I'd play you a song before we call it a night, with one condition - YOU ALL MUST DANCEEEEEE!" And he sang and played ABBA!!!!!!! I was secretly praying for Lady Gaga's Just Dance since they played Wavin' Flag in the beginning of dinner, which was kinda awkward as Paraguay vs Spain was in the game that night itself.

And that's what you do when someone tried to steal your floor as well as limelight.

6 of us - 2 were already happily married within a year. Who's next? You bet.

Fifteen

2010-07-11T18:41:00.004+08:00

Let's say there is only one thing I wanna go back to my high school, besides studying hard and running hard to represent the school, is that I wanted to be in a relationship. A funny guy who knew how to sweep my feet off and liked me at the same time. We might not be able to learn about love at that time though. But at least we would be very creative to impress each other - compete for being the most romantic partner, giving the best of the best just to make one laugh. It becomes so rare and leads me to think that it only happens in high school.

Get a life

2010-07-09T22:28:00.004+08:00

I always get asked of what would I be doing after work. Sleep no later than 9pm. Like seriously, I can't afford to lose my healthy skin to nightlife. Well, maybe not for this month. But I think I'm lucky enough to sleep without getting awaken by dreams in the middle of the night. Good, heavy sleeper. Glad insomnia rarely visit, like, never in years already. At the same time of revealing my after-work activity, it's very easily attracting a predictable doubt like, "Man, so no life meh?" or some regular feedback on getting a life after working hours.

But frankly, do I really need nighttime activity to prove the fact that I am conspicuously living a life and leading a normal lifestyle? My living just can't afford to have your vision on it and your value for life doesn't really equivalent to mine; and living under the shadow of everyone else is simply losing a living entity I have so much respect for. Or the all-time-favourite example of living a popular life by counting the amount of friends surrounded you under the limelight. One may go on with the family-and-friend-and-love-are-everything argument. On the second thought, how about the universe of self? I may come forward to inform you to get a life, like how you did to mine.

Literally, speak for yourself.

I heart this family

2010-06-27T21:05:00.004+08:00

I have done so much with my BFF but this mommy-joins-BFF-club thingy...

Just a minute.

I have never done this before.

It's like we used to do grocery shopping and have some nice lunches whenever I come over to her house. Today, we had a total 6-hour conversation from Dragon-i to Starbucks.

Have you got the picture yet? The BFF and her mom and me, slacking on Starbucks couch for more than 4 hours sharing some stories and finding flaws from whose-and-whose lies, discussing about how generation-gap happens, and some stupid jokes that are good enough to embarrass the mommy. Ha!

Hannibal teaches you how to love

2010-06-20T15:27:00.003+08:00

No, I'm kidding. Anthony Hopkins is a nice Englishman in "Meet Joe Black". And it's my pleasure to recommend you to watch this movie during Father's Day, which is a day I don't usually celebrate.

You know I have had this fantasy of being daddy's little girl, especially for a person who grew up with English TV programmes and incidentally can't enunciate a proper word. In Western culture, papa says 'I love you' so often to his little daughter - from her crib, to sending her to school, till her rejection for his love and existence in her high school times, and nearly an embarrassment to her life when she met a new, young lad who knows how to treat her well. Daughter, is like a man's last girlfriend on earth, whom he has given permission to take him for granted.

But I don't have such prerogative. I'm more to a Mommy's little girl. My mum trades her life to protect me from getting hurt. She doesn't care what I would think about her but she raised me up in the toughest time of her life. I'm not taking hints from being loved, as when I can't feel a single thing from you, love doesn't exist to me at all. I would not think you hate me but I simply don't feel the bond between us.

If it's for love, give it all in huge generosity.

"I wish you could have known my father," said, Susan Parrish to the Young man in coffee shop. And that's how you know how much your daughter is proud of you.

Actually I thank to the nature of having father and mother as a couple to a child, for I get to choose my favourite even when I'm not his or hers.

"Because I know that you love me. I mean, it's not like it is with her. Whenever she walks into the room, your eyes light up. She always gets a smile from you, as opposed to me. When I walk in, this look comes over your face, like, "what does she want now?" But you've never let either of us want for anything. Oh god, more than that. Daddy, more than that. I've felt loved, and that's all that matters. So, never mind favourites. You're allowed to have one. The point is, you've been mine."

Allison Parrish, Meet Joe Black

Line that always rings a bell

2010-06-19T14:05:00.002+08:00

Before I joined my current company, I was scheduled an interview with MD. He told me about the industry they are in and the direction they are heading. So you know being a passionate fresh man, I couldn't care much about his words. The funny, wise man turned serious and was sort of like telling me, said, the treatment is a long-term process for the patients. Whatever we're doing now is to provide them quality treatment. The patients may not seem to appreciate the things we have done for them for the pain they have taken in - hence, rejection is in expectation. But try to put yourself in their shoes. Think again, I might already want to commit suicide for hearing a news like that from doctor.

That's the line always rings a bell. And passionate people I work with.

When I look at you

2010-06-17T23:13:00.002+08:00

College girl with a cup of Frappe in hand that walks past me. That moment rewinds and freezes when her shoulder brushes against mine. Hey, I knew this girl 5 years ago. She couldn't even pronounce frappe back then and just pointed at the drink which seemed attractive to her. She came to college about 7ish. Having her luxurious breakfast, with a bunch of working adults from opposite building. She read her book quietly while the noises from coffee machine was kinda distracting. She waited for someone to pick her up at the same spot, same drink on table when the clock hit 4pm. Fellow mates commented on her luxurious life. She knew she wasn't belonged to that group but simply she found peace of mind in coffee.

Time doesn't freeze and I eventually lose her in sight. I stand at the same spot with my mind swirling back to the coffee career I had in college. It's very reminiscing.

Tricky statement

2010-06-10T21:56:00.005+08:00

I went to McDonald's this morning. Grabbed the newsletter, ordered hotcakes, waited for the sugar refill. Few college students were there to enjoy early breakfast with their mates. A college boy was getting his ketchup and making his coffee at the corner, while I tried to grab sugar and plastic utensils. He kept looking up and down for his ketchup and coffee. "You're so tall." I stoned there for while, didn't know what should I say next, just beamed at him and walked back to my table.

Returned to my office and saw my colleague coming in already, I told her about this incident. "What should be my next line? I don't think 'thank you' is appropriate. Beaming is somehow, impolite and idiotic. What do you think?"

"Haven't you been practiced for all this while? 'Thank you' would be good."

Still I don't think 'thank you' is good, as I never consider this shit as a compliment. Kinda tricky, you see, because one of my female colleagues is taller than me and whenever we raise the height issue, she usually shifts the focus onto me to share some sort of equality - like, "I ain't no monster' kinda defense mechanism. Actually I feel her, you know, being tall and lanky is no crime but people tend to magnify it to the level of which you might feel guilty being around with people in 160ish. Isn't that cruel.

I think I probably will just beam this statement away.

你好吗

2010-06-06T20:10:00.004+08:00

今天抛来的一句“笨师妹”，疯癫的记忆再次被唤起。还记得我在去年认识的小丘吗？一个让我对生活充满热诚的前同事，远距离并没有见过面的，一个喜欢把酒的女生。我以为她是疯子，其实她不疯我会觉得更可怕。是的，我很想念她。我没有实现要一起去流浪的梦，空谈我说。

你知道同一时间我会更想念他。好几次我想问说嘿你好吗？但是我又是少了那份勇气。我想知道你还好吗？一定要找一个很爱你的女生、一个会逗你说笑话的、一个会常常跟你斗嘴的、一个会用心去对你的女生。

原来不是没爱过，只是一直在错过。

Secret's keeper

2010-05-31T23:48:00.000+08:00

I think I never really had a communicative conversation with some people for quite some time already. It's the downside of not having an interest to gossip and gossiping with a group of curious cats. At least, you get some information from different sources and source accuracy is yet the focal point. Some people appreciate your carelessness because you don't care about their shit. Some think you're boring because you have nothing to share. Not even yours. Some reckon you are heartless fuck who have least concern for the others. I'm being loved and being hated at the same time. The last thing they realise it, I'm the best target to keep their secrets which I usually think it stinks and my brain isn't your emotion bin. You think that's the end of the secret? No, secret comes in episodes like drama. They test your memory for how much you've remembered from the previous episode and the plot keeps developing. And then I ponder, why would some people proud of being the infamous secret's keeper for others? Some say they entrust one to have the key to their darkest side. Some say they think one has great pairs of ears and thick shoulders. Some say man, I am everyone's best friend - this one is epic, as when somebody rats anyone's shits out, you're the public enemy.

"I hate the new generation of coolness out there. You just never get any information out of the youngsters you talk to. 'Hey what are you doing?' 'Just chilling.' All right. I know you're chilling. 'What are you doing tonight?' 'Things.' 'Okay.'"

George Simmons, Funny People.

Spare change

2010-05-30T21:49:00.002+08:00

That was my birthday. I went to the original white coffee shop with my mate. Here came a beggar who spoke fluent Cantonese, "Hi Miss! I wish you have good health." We were then paused our conversation, quietly sipping our respective iced white coffee. His bowl came before me. I just laid down my head and looked away. My mate was just starring. I then put up my palm and signaled him to go away. He was still repeating the phrase before he left, "Missy, I wish you have good health."

This moment, we finally stopped speaking to each other. 20 seconds later, she asked, why didn't you just donate to him? I replied nonchalantly of having a really bad experience with terrible liar who cheated my kindness. She asked again, "What if he really needs the money for a bun or a cup of water?" Silent invaded afterward. "Looking at his back, that sight really hurts my heart. I wished I had spare change to buy him something to eat." She regretted of her act, and I thought I felt the same thing.

After having patients activities in the clinic, my colleagues brought me to Kg. Baru for some nice Malay lunch. We sat down and chatted about the activities, some planning and routine. Then, Pari asked about my golden crafted ring. I told her it was my grandma who got the ring symbolised of protection from Siam Wat. Here came a person in Thai monk suit. He was holding a bowl and asked for donation. My colleague who sat opposite to me starred at me awkwardly. I honestly said that I had no spare change for him. So the opposite colleague donated him a one-ringgit note. He thanked her and walked away to the beverage counter. He sat next to our table, sipping a cup of cold coconut drink to quench his thirst. Again, the feeling of regret invaded me and I was ashamed of myself already. I kept comforting myself, said, man, you have only a 50-ringgit note and 50 cents in hand. But I knew the thing was that 50 cents might mean a lot to him already because he could order a bigger cup of coconut drink prior to continuing his journey.

It's the desperation for living that put his dignity on palms/knees to beg the other strangers to fulfill his basic needs in living. This was my mate's remarkable comment for the beggar in coffee shop.

Dude, we have a schedule to keep on

2010-05-29T21:47:00.003+08:00

For lads, they always have weekend sports appointment to keep on; while for ladies, shopping deal is on when an individual is emotionally ready or a group is formed to conquer the mall. Cash or not, nah I've got credit cards. Or a bunch of supportive girlfriends who are willing to lend you some for getting your piece of satisfaction.

I'm not motivated for jogging now because it rains almost every day when I returned from office. My brother has his own footie schedule to keep on and I do not have a sporting boyfriend to tell me, "Chubby hon, get your gears and we gotta go for a jog now." Joining gym doesn't make it better off as tonnes of excuses would be made to not make a swift turn to the club. Motivation is priceless under such circumstance. Le sigh.

My colleague, Nattie used to pluck two of my outgrown white hairs because she found it too hilarious and she couldn't stop laughing it until it's plucked. Robbstar and Debbie plucked off 5 strands while getting some brekkie at Kota Damansara. Work stress, hence the white hairs. I know my deadline is on coming Monday. Wanted to do a product presentation like how Mr Jobs did his. Man, the tweeting style is attractive.

Can I have some really nice souls get me out of the tight schedule by bringing me to my favourite places and enjoying nightly coffee, silently being by my side and looking at me being serious? I can't really have a smoking career and it's best to stick with caffeine to release some stress.

灵感源自于“乏夏”

2010-05-22T14:06:00.006+08:00

这里的天气，我想我可以用“过意不去”来形容。
昨天的气温高达38度，今早晨就下起了倾盆大雨，浇湿了地球上热气，平息了所有人的闷热心情。

根据澳洲的气候，现在应该是秋末，几近初冬，刚刚过完了忙碌的一周。
今天只想好好的赖一赖床，弥补前些日子早上六点半启程去几近40公里的地方搞活动，晚上一身疲累把自己扔在床上不省人事到明天早晨，同样的行程快把我压垮。
搭飞机是很累人的，驾车也没差。

我也快毕业一年了，怎么我还那么想念早晨抱着一叠书去上课的感觉？
沿路的晨跑者总是让我精神满满的去面对美好的一天。
苹果的耳机简直是附属品，喜欢聆听晨风，也不想错过迎面而来陌生人的 G'day!
好期待蓝花楹（Jacaranda）盛开的时刻，还有在青绿草坪上的人群。
披着觉得很拉风的外套，拽拽地昂头往着教室走去，当然偶尔也要闪自行车。
那时候我会碰到的人都不太认得我，可能在球场上和球场外的我，衣着讲究有待评估。

现在你认为我还那么在意吗？往往眼镜挂脸上的同时，别人都看不出我刚毕业。
扮专业我很在行，虽然我样子看起来很香蕉，我讲的中文虽然很本土化，英文也参个乱七八糟…
因为我知道字正腔圆的语文没办法拉近国人的隐性距离。
至少我知道什么场合该说怎样的话，什么时候该写正式到不行的文章。
但是掩饰自己不会中文这种事情我做不来，我是骄傲的族群，这却跟“我是中国后代”搭不上关系。
还有，承认和否认是有差的，没有任何表示的表情，才高招。

我想跟楼上的中国同胞说，我懂得你那中国腔的中文，别再说马来西亚人的坏话。
我想对走在前头、香烟往后扑的扑街吐痰，再抱歉地说，我为你扑火。
我想跟所有以为女性是烂司机的男士说，昨天差点导致我车祸那八辆车的司机，一律是男生。

最近天气真的很糟糕，阴晴之间的过意不去，也让我身体和情绪有些过意不去。抒发完毕。

Double Rainbow

2010-05-14T21:05:00.007+08:00

I've seen heaps of rainbows these days. Oh my! Huge double rainbow that appears vividly to my line of vision. How amazing it is! Too bad I didn't capture any as no camera came in handy at the moment. The taxi driver lowered down my side of window, showed me the rainbows and I was impressed by his sweet gesture. He told me about how blessed he was to live in such beautiful world.

Two years ago, I saw a small, beautiful rainbow under a moving surfer's surfing board in Gold Coast. I swear to my Xiao Bai, it was the most beautiful scene I'd ever seen on a beach. Other than the hot surfer who didn't even realise he could actually surf upon a rainbow.

The last double rainbow I've seen was yesterday, while driving home alone, blasting some nonsense over the stereo stopping at crossroad, I looked at my side mirror and that's where it's shown. Yes, it was that huge and vivid that even my side mirror could capture half of its actual size. Wasn't it awesome!

Somewhere over the rainbow, you have my smiling for appreciating how wonderful it is to be in love with all great creations of Mother's Nature :)

人不美，就往丑的方向发展

2010-05-09T11:56:00.004+08:00

Weekend is meant to be chillaxing. Dropped off my workloads, hit the road, and get some good food with awesome companions as always. Gosh, he called us the Manors Love.

Photo courtesy of Mr Kenny

Went for KL Design Week. Spent around 2 hours appreciating Australia contemporary architectural arts, Japanese typo-graphics, Japan Media Arts, Tokyo Visualist, Japan Young Illustrations, and missed not our very own Malaysian paintings. I personally favoured for the Unity (3 different colours of Chilies as metaphors in illustration), Waterfalls (very surreal looking), and Nanyang Chineses Kopitiam (the high-waist pants with belt clinched on, jade-stoned golden ring, classic white singlet, and kopi-O on the table). I was surprised to see the portrait of Tan Hong Ming and Umi Qazrina - their innocent smiles were so heartwarming.

As for Japanese arts, it never fails to cheer one's up with mostly white and bright background and simple few strokes to capture your attentions. Suffices to say, a smile and two thumbs up.

Visiting National Arts Gallery brought me back to the moment of how much I appreciated the Picasso's arts. If a picture puts on an appropriate caption, it totally hits the spot and makes you salute them from heart.

I guess I've inspired by this exhibition and it's time to hit my strategy board right away.

Sarcasm

2010-05-05T19:54:00.001+08:00

Girlfriend: You broke my phone!
Boyfriend: Okay darling, I will replace one for you.

Ex-boyfriend: You broke my heart!
Ex-girlfriend: It still works well, doesn't it?

23rd

2010-05-01T12:44:00.005+08:00

A commitment.

A birthday surprise.

An inspirational book.

A card with heaps of wishes.

A memorable food-hunting trip.

A bunch of amazing friends.

A celebrating moment.

An exciting job.

And, I'm thankful :)

Terperanjat Aku

2010-04-26T20:55:00.002+08:00

We were having dinner with MD on the second day of the trip. While pushing rice using chopsticks, he paused and asked, "So Shuying, how is your boyfriend?" 8 of us, including myself, were stopped pushing rice and looked into my direction, quietly waiting for a response. I sheepishly smiled and denied, "I'm single lah, Mr. Lim." He was like shocked to hear it. "What happened to your boyfriend?" I then again denied it. So BD manager looked bizarrely at MD, "Are you sure you have seen her boyfriend before?" Everyone started backing me up, "We all knew she is single since she joined the company."

"Noooo... I have seen her boyfriend waiting and picking her up outside the hotel." Everyone stopped pushing rice again. OUTSIDE HOTEL?! I was friggin' innocent!

"What car did he drive?" BD manager asked.

"Tsk tsk. Look at you girls, only noticed what car a guy drives. I can't remember the car though."

"Sometimes her mother still drives her to work. You sure it's a guy?"

"No, really. I could remember it was a guy in the car."

Everyone was guessing here and there and I couldn't wait to get this over, "Boss, I haven't been to a hotel with a guy, you see."

"Was it Cazz you have mistaken her with?" BD manager saved my life!

"OH! Yeah yeah yeah! She has a boyfriend. Sorry sorry, haha... I think it wasn't you then." My goodness I almost rose and danced Beyonce's Single Lady on the spot.

When we thought the drama was almost over, he raised another question, "So why don't you have a boyfriend?" And it just left me "Eh... eh... ehh..." and eventually the conversation went off when it's time for dessert. Phew!

Your furious driver

2010-04-16T20:12:00.003+08:00

I warn all my colleagues who are going to ride on Xiao Bai that I curse while driving. The first victim was my Director's PA. Right after the second I was done with explaining my rule, I cursed so hard before driving off the building. Shocked, but she followed all the way with bad attitude driver. Ha! Second victim would be my senior marketing comrade. "I heard about the warning but I'm not sure if that's gonna happen at my presence... *I cued in with harder cuss* okay, that just happened." *turn to PA, asked, 'how furious she could be' and PA just beamed her silly question away.

The next time PA lady rides on, I sheepishly joke about how much I thought I were driving a Ferrari. She replied nonchalantly, "yeah but definitely not for the parking part."

Wednesday's Frisbee Day

2010-03-24T21:13:00.000+08:00

You would not know how much Ultimate Frisbee has meant to us. Friendship, fun, and precious memories on and off the field.

Robbstar suggested us to join a club. We encouraged ourselves walking to Oval 7. We took up a stomach of courage to mingle with Caucasians. We looked over our shoulders for others' amazing throw. Eventually, Nathan's ponytail and warm greeting relieved our anxiety. JJ remembered our Chinese names so well without slight confusion on ice-breaker session. Alex always initiated a talk. Kaitlin asked us to come over their table for dinner after our first game. Taylor gave me too much information about his funny family in our second or third game. Julian happily allowed us to lift his skirt. We got Brenton to talk gibberish about his lung inside his body. The next season we returned to the field, we were familiarised with most of the people already. And Nathan? He never gets tired of inviting us to any occasion and he's still our top favourite Aussie ever!

Ultimate Frisbee also brought U77 and U65 together. Rajuk King is forever impatient for a game. Jordie has been a very dangerous thrower who hits the moving object in surrounding, e.g. innocent kids, rather than his target. Had a really wonderful Frisbee reunion last week. Jordie successfully hit innocent kid's stomach, flew our Frisbee into a so-not nearby river, twice! The best part was all of us walked back to the car park. We were as if walking down the memory lane again, as we used to walk so much back in St. Lucia. In a bunch, hitting and laughing, along the journey home.

Can you believe a Frisbee actually make such wonder to us?

Up up and away

2010-03-23T20:18:00.005+08:00

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love, got my friends, got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself when there's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy :)

The big guy above thought it would only be fair to equip me with endless optimism, healthy body and a strong heart to laugh away all the obstacles that lie ahead. Metaphorically said, I should blow all the unpleasant emotions into a balloon and release it into the air.

Days with Billabong flip-flop

2010-03-20T16:20:00.002+08:00

3 pairs of black Billabong male slippers aka flip-flop accompanied me as a great travelling partner in the land of Down Under. We walked to St. Lucia campus, attended a 8:30pm-early-drunken party at King's College, went to explore Brisbane City and Roma St. Botanical Garden, went to 3 clubs in Gold Coast and got commented resembling to Rihanna in Asian version, travelled in train to Sunshine Coast, played Ultimate Frisbee, did groceries together in Coles and Woolies, got on a ferry called CityCat, went to breakfast at West End's market, went for various movies, did Latin dance in front of Greystone Bar and danced messily with other sexy Latinos, etc.

Oh, remember this was the only picture we got with Jacaranda? Forget not the dirty mud you flipped on my thighs from wet lands. And I feel sorry for not riding Superman Returns with you in Movie World. After all, you were indeed a lucky flip-flop who has been to so many places with your weirdo owner. Didn't I just miss you!

Snacks with identities

2010-03-13T15:53:00.006+08:00

Back in The Manors, there were some remarkable groceries which defined a tenant's individuality and distinctive tastes that would easily be identified in the kitchen cabinets and super small refrigerator. So by looking at these spectacular snacks, you will point at it and confidently say, "OMG! This is so You!"

My roommate, Robbster
Cabinet: Cadbury, Darell Lea, and other Australian brand chocolate bars and confectioneries; unique tinned box's biscuits purchased during Easter's Day; various 1kg cereal boxes;

Fridge: Greek cheese, fruity cheese, Nude juices, Ski/Yoplait/Home brand yoghurts, lite/low fat milks, more carrots and tomatoes and chicken thighs/fillets, Sara Lee's ice-cream, some special dessert.

They were more but the point here is, she is voted as the most health-conscious fellow among three of us.

My housemate, Debbie
Cabinet: Korean spicy/seafood/Shin/Jae-Jyung Myeon instant noodles; Instant mushroom soups; dried pasta and pasta white sauces; 3-in-1 Nescafe; Panda cookies.

Fridge: Finger snacks, minced chicken meat, frozen char siew bao, pizza slices; Coles/Woolie pasta or potato salad.

She stocked up various instant noodles and considered oneself as the most unhealthy fellow in the house.

Yours truly, Coffeeholic
Cabinet: Robert Timms/Coles coffee, sugar, instant cereal beverages, 3-in-1 Mandheling coffee; Woolie's Homebrand Choco Chips, Fanta; Lindt dark chocolates; dried pasta and Bolognese sauces; Thai tomyum instant noodles or Indon Mee or Korean Jae Jyung Myeon; Coles muesli, Uncle Toby's muesli bars.

Fridge: Fruit juice or Soymilk; Coles/Woolie coleslaw; Frozen char siew bao and pizza slices; Chicken thighs/fillets.

In fact, I missed looking into those piled-up foods on cabinets. So much fun cooking in the kitchen while watching The Simpsons/Witch Yoo-Hee/1 Litre of Tears or blasting some stupid songs like CNY songs, Jai Ho, London Bridge etc.

Those were the days in our house. 我们的家, the most classic quote from Ms Debbie, with remarkable gesture that never failed to crack us up.

Our very own sitcom posters

2010-03-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

Casting: Ongoing characters in poster. Guests or specific equipments are expected in each episode. For instance, the infamous hairdryer.

Oh, our sitcom's name? Hmmm... Lucias, Where To Go?

Most beautiful, well-described breakup letter written to me.

2010-02-25T16:33:00.004+08:00

Dear Basterd,

猜不透 (Guessing)

你最近時好時壞的沈默 (your recent moody silences)
我也不想去追問太多 (I did not want to interrogate)
讓試探為彼此的心上了鎖 (To test the lock for each other's heart)

猜不透 (Guessing)
相處會比分開還寂寞 (getting along would be lonelier than staying apart)
兩個人都只是得過且過 (We were just muddling along)
無法感受每次觸摸是真的是熱的 (as we could not feel the touch was whether genuine and warm)

如果忽遠忽近的灑脫 (If dishabille)
是你要的自由 (is the freedom you want)
那我寧願回到一個人生活 (I would rather stay single)

如果忽冷忽熱的溫柔 (If temperamental sweetness)
是你的藉口 (is your excuse)
那我寧願對你從沒認真過 (I would rather have not been serious)

到底這感覺誰對誰錯 (This sense of right or wrong in the end)
我已不想追究 (I did not want to pursue)
越是在乎的人越是猜不透 (Because the person who cared the most was guessing the most)

Yours sincerely,

The Victim

*Written by 黃婷 / Composed by 林邁可 / Performed by 丁噹 / Translated by Coffeeholic*

Office concussion

2010-02-23T08:46:00.000+08:00

Little heartwarming yet hilarious incident that happened yesterday. By seeing my senior was having a painful see-saw moment in bidding one of the stocks from my superior, he called her into his room and less than two seconds, she was ready to step out his doorstep and then he called again, so she did ballet turn to turn back him. She already stepped out his room and he called, she went in again, with some multiple ballet turns that really amused me. Laughing hysterically, I was moving my head and body forward to the desk to hide my big horse-laugh when both of them finally stepped out together, which were currently standing by my side, in serious mood, and were ready to talk over that negotiation.

All of a sudden, my superior was shocked, gasped, and nervously asked, "What happened to her?! SHE BANGED HER HEAD ON THE DESK!" Couldn't hold my laughter anymore and I raised my head looking at him. Senior was really amused by looking at him, as he seemed seriously concerned. I was like, "I.. I.. am fine. I am fine. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" So he looked all so serious and reconfirmed with my senior, "Is she alright?" She didn't answer him though. She went over to my desk and patted and said, "Your boss thought you were concussed. Funny him. HAHAHAHAHA!" So yeah, we both laughed at his serious expression.

Weren't they adorable?

Jimmy-jacked!

2010-02-21T16:16:00.003+08:00

The ending of the Night at the Museum Battle of the Smithsonian was kinda cool. It could be the Life in Technicolor by Coldplay played in the background to accentuate of how Larry Daley met Tess, the Amelia Earhart-resembled in present time. And then the music cued to Joey Motorola who was figuring the heck out of Blueberry back in 1945. The whole picture sounds futuristic then.

Eureka Bits

2010-02-20T22:00:00.005+08:00

#1 I fail to keep myself updated with Chinese music. Joanna Wang would be the last newest singer that comes to mind.

#2 I can't get rid of Lady GaGa's from my iPod! Alejandro, Ale-ale-jandro! It's getting really addictive.

#3 I smile faintly or gasp with light "Oops!" to ease every embarrassing tripping moment.

#4 A person without revealing one's proper/precise standing is either positively secretive or negatively dangerous in the eyes of strangers because they reckon losing grip of you has never been positive sign. I'm that person and constantly being criticised for being one.

#5 I'm less inspired now.

#6 Lethargy after work is not healthy as it makes me less sociable :(

#7 I missed Wednesday's Frisbee so much I want to gather a Frisbee party! With heaps of Strongbow :)

#8 Working at Raja Chulan is like the best, luxurious OL moment I've ever dreamt of. And I actually feel happy to take train to work.

#9 I treat my superior as friend. Because I laughed at him and he said "Don't laugh! Do your work!" but I was still laughing. This is no good *shake head*

#10 I pick up fashions. NO WAY!

Job Satisfaction

2010-01-23T11:39:00.003+08:00

This term seems very familiar to the management students. Nothing big, and it looks simple and easy to people who wants to be emotionally satisfied by what we are doing, what we contribute to create satisfaction for other people, and what we can achieve from work-life balance. And gradually, we make our daily routines to a career - enriching our life from our job and human interaction. It could be happened in any type of jobs but we are responsible to find out what future that lies beneath. Challenging one-leg-kick job with lower pay or a steady and stable 9-to-5 glamorous OL? This could be a huge turning point in life once the choice is made. It's frustrating of knowing what you want and yet not getting support from people around you.

I am taking this bet on my future and am sober enough to know what am I doing right now. Some people might think I'm putting the golden years on stake. Should I feel regretted five years later and wonder why the hell am I sitting here and time just flies, passion's died, and staring blankly at the monitor pondering of the past opportunities I've missed? Perhaps I could convince you better of how you shouldn't miss your chance of taking the road that is seemingly harsh from your naked eyes when the road I am about to take now is a big success in the future. Or I should choose to believe "the money does the talking" since the beginning? Oh, I almost forgot I was a business student.

脚本

2010-01-01T17:16:00.005+08:00

It was the second day of new year. Drizzling and my cowboy outfits wet a little. Sat in a crowded space with mates in Starbucks was once brought me back to the moment of being a college student. Couldn't remember was there any song played in background but our table was loud with laughter, which you might assume our topics were about fun and entertaining - try to imagine the exact opposite. Perhaps there was always a way to tone things down without more sobbing and whining I reckon.

I've received my first compliment about my outfit, first lunch treat, first Frappé, first misunderstanding, first epiphany, and first decision made. The clues are yet well put in my script. But the good feeling is ready to flow till end of this year, oh boy how I wished!

Resolution? Be happy along the way in achieving my dreams. Someone just enlightened me :)

Glamours Rendezvous

2009-12-26T16:38:00.000+08:00

Our Christmas was filled with love and
heaps of wedding blessings from all over the world.

Sweet kindred love

Height

2009-12-19T22:48:00.003+08:00

The most common comment I would get from people is being tall and lanky - both basic requirements that could constitute my hypothetical modeling career, as if I really want one. It's annoying sometimes when you get it more frequent from the same bunch of people again and again that being treated as a good opener to trigger some gossips. Very exhausted to answer something that is so not constructive, which doesn't make anyone good, like, I'm not interested in modeling so stop harping like if you care.

Little do these ladies know, men mostly don't fancy or go crazy for tall girls. At least I've got bunch of guys try to be frank on how intimidated they feel for a female in their height. You should know how lucky you are in the height of 160s. But not a sense of guilt ever rises to deter me from stepping on those high pumps and heels. Strange enough, am just not really into flats no more :P

那個冬天我認識了小丘

2009-11-21T00:45:00.002+08:00

這裡沒有四季之分，往北上的方向再偏南一點點，据我所知已經是冬初。當然我體驗不到那個地方有多冷，反而這裡天天下著傾盆大雨，濕漉漉地真叫人鬱悶。那天的我，有點無聊加上一點點的懊惱，要知道本小姐的脾氣本來就偏暴躁，突如其來地一個短訊我並沒有多加理會，又是一個來增添煩惱的人。

“喂喂，小靚女……” 然後劈里啪啦打了一些廣東字眼，我突然閒興致勃勃想囘他，所以我們聊了很多不是工作上的東東。看來這個時候的人容易做錯事，交錯朋友，認錯人，偏偏不信邪，聊到下班爲止。當時候我心裏確實有點踏實了，朋友就是這麽來的。

如果你問起我那年的冬天我在幹嘛？也許我會以很興奮的、很平靜的、很慵懶的、很理所當然的說：那個冬天，我認識了小丘。你不知道的是，我們都生活在地球的南北兩端，而且擁有著屬於我們的流浪夢。認識了小丘，我開始學會嚮往一個有目標的生活。而那個生活，還帶著小丘的影子和爽朗的笑聲和趣怪的動作。

小明説，我們很變態，談的話題變態到在他腦海裏揮之不散。其實他忘了我們是一夥的。

Club statistics

2009-11-07T23:25:00.007+08:00

Realisation 1: Lads who walk past you for more than 3 times are spy for their friends.

Realisation 2: The spy will approach you first to penetrate your status.

Realisation 3: Spy will bring their friends along for some stupid introduction and invitations.

Realisation 4: Fail tempt doesn't cost a thing. They will still keep an eye on you, giving eye contacts, signalling you to drink from far.

Realisation 5: Ego lads are willing to settle for second-best.

Realisation 6: Lanky ladies are definitely not a hot choice in a club as being told that the lads feel intimidated.

Realisation 7: He deserves the right to flirt with you. But if seeing you flirt with another guy, he shakes head and walks away.

Realisation 8: A group of 4 is the ideal number in a club and it must be homogeneoous because it's ideal to be approached.

Realisation 9: Girls stick in a group are lesbians. Lads in a group are sexiest table in the club.

Realisation 10: Guards are guys' best friends in the club. Or perhaps best transporter.

(Based on own opinions and pretty much it's about self-indulged sarcasm)

27 hours

2009-10-25T12:02:00.002+08:00

I literally slept for 27 hours and my dad thought I was dead. He kept nudging me to at least expect some weak response from me. Thanks to all the boozing days, parties and workloads. They are so damn sensational but I know I gotta bid farewell to some people in real soon. Perhaps I have already got used to this idea of people come and leave. So I shall start thinking of transferring. Malaysia is such a comfort zone to live in. I concur.

When is AirAsia going to fly Germany? Better make it before next Oktoberfest.

Heineken bucket

2009-10-17T23:22:00.005+08:00

First of all, weekend booze is awesome. Now I am officially a coffeeholic, workaholic, and alcoholic. No, I was just joking about the last holic. Let me put in this way. Drinking in a less crowded pub after your stressful work is like the best last thing you deserved to in a day. Hanging out alone or with someone who knows how to ease you, it's just like the common thing i.e. sports and beers we talk randomly about when I see you holding a beer and coming forward or I see you starring at this football match on plasma screen, someone just get inspired and do some random conversation that usually makes you think hence spending a cheerful evening before hitting the bed. Sometimes it's not merely about beers, you see, beer-competitor is not in my guest list. And here is the faq people always ask why wouldn't I get wooed in pubs? I believe there are tonnes of people out there enjoying their beers just like how I do by leaving the peace undisturbed.

Company and a beer constitute a happy ending for working adults.

When I Sexed Up

2009-09-27T15:20:00.002+08:00

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly.
I ain't gonna cry, no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave
I will not stand in your way.

October To-Do List

2009-09-26T21:11:00.005+08:00

Needs a haircut, long bob or just add some volume on current length.
Get more heels, thongs, and some flats... basically it's just all about shoes.
New lingerie. That makes me really happy.
Join fitness club. But I only want to run on treadmill after working. So I am still looking for the best deal in town.
Get some weekend booze.
Morning jog before going to work. Exercise helps reduce stress, now you know how stressful my work can be.
Healthy meals intake.
Saving up for year-end holiday. Preferably an island trip. Should lure my cousins along!
Learn to love my job.
To love myself more.

Less than 5, ten more laps for running and pay for all the October booze (NO WAY!).
More than 5, nice dinner as reward.

Fulamak I'm so frigging determined can!

Fart You

2009-09-21T23:05:00.003+08:00

Last night I went for a late-night movie with lousy cousin. The cinema was crowded with peeps like us, who got no idea where to spend their Raya hence all peeps ended up in cinema. Even lousy movies got a few seats left at its last screening time. Queue was freaking long and messy. We queued behind this huge Indian male. He was all alone. It's such a boredom to snail our moves there. We were kinda panicked when our desirable show got sold out, so we kept an eye on the screen from time to time. All of a sudden, I smelled poison gas. I then moved aside and hid behind cuzzie, whispered "Somebody's fucking farted in the queue!" She smelled it, showed me her vomiting face. After a while, I thought to myself, this Indian won't embarrass himself by farting twice. So we stood in parallel, just in case shit happened again. This parallel thingy was kinda nonsense. I had no idea how we thought this through.

You guessed it right. He farted, twice. It was smellier. I couldn't tolerate sniffing somebody's fart, so I yelled FUCK! He pretended like he wasn't the one. What if the guy at my back thought we twins farting something so poisonous?! In the following hours, even I was already sitting in the theatre, my nostrils still smelled human fart. I even suspected my manly Gerard Butler smelled like fart when I saw him in the prison. Fart you ruined my late-night movie and my wonderful date with Butler my beau!

Bimbo rant... again!

2009-09-21T13:21:00.003+08:00

The myth of gaining weight in Australia failed on me as I didn't put on any weight back then while gaining myself a really fit body that had up to my content. Fit as in better stamina, slimmer thighs, and mildly muscular arms. Lesser food temptations, more walking and exercises routine, as we speak. Again, I don't believe on food dieting while you can work out more to burn up your calories. Returning to Malaysia is like the exact opposite of my lifestyle in Brisbane. I drive in replacement for walking, and eventually all the devilish foods that haunt me down and thus making me munch those sinful comestibles without knowing the boundaries.

And I found Kedah Assam Laksa at Taman Bahagia! The joy is incomparable as if I found love in the human crowd. Now you know what I eat for dinner. Of course it sells more than just Assam Laksa, but Chai kuih, Teochew fried noodles, and even the red bean soup tastes heaven! Sitting at open-air dining places like this, I am not missing Brisbane for a bit. Quoted Karen, I've got cheap access to awesome food, there's nothing more I can ask for. But it's simply a total different feeling to do hangout or a booze back home, everyone has a family to entertain, work commitments to be fulfilled, etc. if you get what I mean.

Sigh, I so afraid if I couldn't fit in my skinny anymore. Gosh! If that ever happened, I would definitely end my day in gym room, again. Because my colleague sets me as her role model, I wouldn't want to let her down, you see, this can be quite a good excuse to sustain a self-proclaimed fit body.

Mr Luke is right, I die die also want to appear glamorous in whatever occasion, while only losing cool in front of him. Aw, your prerogative!

Master Shakespeare

2009-09-20T14:02:00.006+08:00

Just watched Gwyneth Paltrow's Shakespeare in Love. Couldn't tell how much I hath developed my interest for Master Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, and along with his Hamlet. Cliched tragic love story that is but undeniably so beautiful. A beautiful movie impregnated with lugubrious ending, stage love to a love fool behind the curtain.. the only way to immortalise their love is to make her his heroine of all time. Methinks thou shalt watch this.

Okay I'm a sucker for English men :)

Would it be one of the reasons I never indulge myself so much in the word of romance, and so all I could do is to seek a sense of familiarity in a play that can show us the very truth and nature of love? So am I, a fool in love.

Now I'm Joinning Robbstar

2009-09-07T14:39:00.003+08:00

I should put an end to my first job-hunting session. 10 interviews in total and finally I've got into an unexpected industry that seems as way too challenging to a fresh graduate. Something I'm not very acquainted with, not one of my bags in preliminary stage. But I'd say my interview process is helluva entertaining and worth of learning - writing heaps of essays, attending tests, preparation for case study and presentation. And only Robbstar knows everything about this bumpy journey.

And no, I shall not reveal anything about my job. Wish me luck in this position :)

Boorish Interviewer

2009-09-04T22:23:00.002+08:00

Uncensored version of my second interview session with a local event management company. Something to make you angry over, seriously, specially dedicated to all Australian graduates:

A Chinese plump lady was attending me today. I tried to concentrate on questions that shot to me during the interview, given the fact I was feeling unwell and the dizziness was a little distracting. So she asked about what do I expect to gain from this job (note: this was the initial question she wanted to ask but I tended to interpret it myself). Instead, she gave me a lot of examples like job mismatch, job that was out of my expectation, blah blah. So I thought she was asking why would I want to do event management in lieu of marketing job. Well, I explained about how I chose my major few years ago and how I didn't want to specialise and preferred a broad major like marketing course. So she kinda misinterpreted me by saying I wanted marketing exposure through working as an event coordinator. I kept on explaining from the beginning till the point of choosing this job, and yet she wasn't being very helpful - interrupting my clarification, getting part of the idea while missing the others, and pretending as if she knew everything about me. I politely asked her to repeat what she expected from me when she seemed dissatisfied. She went really impatient and spoke in very plain English: "What do you want from the job!" That's simple enough, ain't it? It was unfathomable why wouldn't she speak in English from the beginning? That almost pissed me off.

So we were talking about the job scope and everything. I was just being honest to tell her about I couldn't do drive-while-talk-on-the-phone that kind of multitasking, but I would try to adapt if it's necessary. She crossed her arms and looked at me in straight face, said "You know, in our job, we have to do it all the time." Excuse moi? Did a manager just tell me how to break a rule? I was like, well, it's a little terrifying to do such thing. She was then being very defensive, "I find the traffic here is fine." You wouldn't know how I tried to suppress my anger and replied her, "It's a little terrifying to me." As if hinting her my view doesn't represent yours, so please freaking step back before the war began.

She crossed her arms and leaned back.

"Then you go back to Australia lah."

I was totally pissed off! I did not fucking mention a thing about Australia, not even compared the traffics. I ended the interview by saying, "Nah! You better don't say that." She repeated the above-mentioned sarcasm. I walked out and just said "Bye-bye" instead of being well-mannered and humble like I used to be. Yes, be proud of being the first interviewer to piss me off.

As matter of fact, all Malaysians know how freaking terrible our traffic is. You don't have to come and fart at my face saying how great Malaysia is because I freaking know it. But we are talking about traffic congestion issue here and you bitch better get things right prior to generalising the whole surrounding. At this moment, you should fucking be ashamed of yourself being a Malaysian Chinese by uttering such rude remark. You are humiliating us and thanks to people like you, Malaysia isn't doing very well. Isn't it the same humiliation having some boorish racist bastards told the Chinese balik Tong Shan if they don't like the country? Who the hell are you telling me to go back to Australia? What is your problem now? Do you have an issue with us Australian graduates?

And I have some news for you bitch. You're messing with the wrong candidate. I feel sorry for you couldn't make it to a reputable university like mine, you couldn't speak with an accent (oh didn't you know that your colleague remembered me for my so-called accent which she insisted to categorise it as Australian accent), you couldn't flaunt your youthfulness like how I did mine, and you know the difference between international companies and yours? A professional interviewer and a set of sensible questions.

BFF Love

2009-09-01T00:31:00.004+08:00

We call ourselves cow. Yes we are stupid yet so cute like that. We shopped the whole Pyramid for more than 3 times and passed by Pots-1 more than 6 times and some already lost count. We had Sushi Zanmai and refilled its hot green tea until the urge to urinate stroke us so hard and we forced to terminate our 3-hour conversation. We both bought clothes from Lence London. We went into Lence for 4 times and the sales assistants simply recognised us. We are so alike. We knew it.

p/s: I surmise my personal message "I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love" quoted from What Happens In Vegas did inspire my mates heaps because they quoted it back to me.

Imma Your Awesome Host

2009-08-20T15:27:00.003+08:00

My lousy cousin came to pay visit days ago. The last thing I'd do to entertain my guest is serve them some refreshment, you know, I'm improving myself of being a better host.

"So what would you like? Plain water, tap water?"

Guest was being polite as usual, "Well, anything. Whatever you can get."

I tried to search something in the fridge. Soy bean, no, that's my breakfast. Iced tea, no because I wanted to drink that after some sports. Cold water, no, might be already expired. So all I have left was THIS!

I took out the orange flavour and handed it to her. She went all stoned and stared at me.

Then, she fucking laughed out loud. I was like, what the hell is wrong with you mate?

"I've never been served a Vitagen before! Or, ever!"

"Any problem with that? It tastes awesome. Now hold your laughter and let the liquid roam in your mouth."

"No, I mean it's fine. Just... funny."

What?! Very funny meh :S

Their weddings, My blessing

2009-08-18T23:29:00.007+08:00

I wish I could believe in all this crap, I really do. I also wish I could believe in the Easter Bunny, the missile shield and strippers with a heart of gold. Unfortunately I am condemned to see the world as it really is, and love, love is a myth.
Love is magical comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependent and fat!
To me, marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution that should have been abolished years ago.

- Connor Mead, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

The concept of wedding banquet somehow does not really make any sense to me:

1) Speaking of money wise, why on earth should my partner and I and our respective family spend so much to lure these guests coming to celebrate our wedding? Paid form blessings.

2) Why should we celebrate in banquet form? Why not we just get all the blessings within 60 minutes of ritual ceremony and everybody can go on with their lives afterward? By the way, I want to make some note on table etiquette. People turn beasts once the food being served. Reason? "Eat more and make my angpow money worthwhile." Oh I felt really sorry for the newly wed.

3) What kind of blessing should I expect from some drunkards who merely come for weekend drunk or guests who are attending for the sake of attendance?

4) It could be your long ass PowerPoint presentation that starve people.. with pleasure. So no point of playing that. Or if you play it while your guests busy grabbing food, nobody actually concentrates on your life journey, so again it's pointless to play that.

Formality bores me. Banquet makes no sense. I seriously prefer buffet style dinner to a formal banquet. Look, people moving around means the possibility of one-on-one interaction is relatively high and as a result, humans have a proximity that splendidly turn the awkward situation to a friendly, lively atmosphere - and that's what I want in my wedding. But I won't share further information about the venue setting and arrangement because those are best part of connecting people :P And you know what, wedding dinner is overrated. Ha!

Kaki Lumba

2009-08-14T14:47:00.003+08:00

I paid to practice my driving skill yesterday. RM25 per hour.

So I was being all prepared to get the little Kancil on road divider, on some kerbs or enjin dies halfway while changing gear, but to all of your disappointment, 2 hours of driving around 34 sections in Shah Alam, nothing big happened, the Kancil was surprisingly undamaged and the instructor just talked on his phone all the way and allowed me to drive wherever I want, ensured the speed limit never exceeded 80km/h. Basically he just earned easy money from me - chitchatting, relaxing in the car, with extra RM50.

Smooth and perfect manual queen. My instructor's only comment was "Ah moy, masa you tukar gear, relak and slow lah, you bukan pergi lumba kereta tau."

I even drove better compared to 5 years ago. I don't get it, seriously.

Fuah!

2009-08-10T13:30:00.003+08:00

Job hunting. Freshers' hottest topic.

I heard Ashton said, "I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love."

I am currently looking for a decent job. Slow and steady. Fresh grads are not the hottest applicants on earth, maybe the moon? Now marketing-major's concern. I have a few companies in mind. Understanding company profile, picking the mismatch of job title and job scope, researching what the company has been doing in the past 6 months, analyse their products and services. Ah, and then I found something interesting.

Viewing through those employees' qualifications, I realise how freaking competitive the world can be. Great, according to theirs, my resume is like not-a-thing. These people. They are visionaries. They knew what they wanted to do since the beginning of college year and planned a pretty nice pathway for themselves. I admired their internship experiences in those international companies, though, seriously.

People say I am one lucky bastard on earth in applying jobs, yes, given the fact of using my not-a-thing CV. Couldn't imagine all I have to do is pick the right job. Love my life :)

Remember my dad said "enjoy your study in Australia"?

Now he says, "You're so going out to explore the world. You're not going to stay at home everyday, are you?"

But I prefer staying at home, having all the meals served, while crunching on National Geographic magazines, routinely practicing football 30 minutes every day. Be it a nerd or most boring person alive, I'm too reluctant to leave my comfy zone. Double love my life.

First Sunrise

2009-08-08T21:45:00.006+08:00

TranzScenic moved in the exact opposite direction as the sunrise in Christchurch that first dawned on me.

We were brainstorming of 101 ways to not doze off within these 8 hours of journey to Franz Josef, while also partially by reason that we paid expensive ticket to ride on it - so we kept clicking on respective cameras, eating, dashing in and out to the scenic platform, and of course making lots of noise. And guess what, we managed to make friends who sat next to us. Four Bosnian-Australian siblings and a friend. Coincidentally, we had a similar itinerary to Franz Josef and Queenstown and that's more about it later on.

Four's a trouble, remember? Trouble plus trouble equates doubly awesome :)

First snow mountain I've seen in my life along the journey.

And this landscape is so surreal.

The first thing I've learnt in the dawn was something very cheesy yet so true - the mother earth is a real beauty by nature. Kiddos, it's never too late to appreciate it now.

Celebration Moment

2009-07-28T17:39:00.007+08:00

It is the day to dedicate your gratitude to people who walk you through
the hardships and accomplish your milestone together.

Butt Kicking

2009-07-21T09:58:00.003+08:00

Facebook does really do the pull on human networking, especially for people like me, who doesn't really enjoy picking up phones and SMS or having small talk in MSN. This platform is more than enough to know a friend's update from ever-changing status to tagged pictures and videos, since I spend lesser time on reading blogs. Well, perhaps the little effort I have been doing by far is updating this poor little blog. Okay I lie. I actually lose the passion in blogging, while doing a photoblog isn't in my line of talent as my photographing skill is embarrassing. As long as Robbstar is still reading it as I can't pillow-talk to her anymore just like the good old nights, the effort of cracking her up will not be ceased, though it's kinda hard to sweep her feet off.

No, I've gone too far of topic.

I should talk about an interesting Facebook incident here. People that I ignore re-add me without fail. Alright people, you seriously deserve some butt-kicking. The act of rejecting you is simply because I don't know you, simple as that, I don't feel comfortable to share my personal details with strangers. To whom I barely even know, I'm not interested in your life, not even your virtual self-proclaimed profile. Go away and play your nonsensical quizzes.

Four's a trouble

2009-07-20T12:58:00.007+08:00

We went into this duty free shop at Brisbane International Airport and this was how we were being greeted by the store attendant. As for ladies, we were just hanging around the perfume section until we had been attended by an experienced lady, who was apparently attracted to our sweetie pie and there went the conversations.

"Just four of you girls? Oh I can imagine that."
"Yeah, basically we just planned our own itinerary."
She pointed us to the colleague at the opposite section and mischievously said, "Look here. Four ladies, a trouble.. or troubles."

I smirked. Do we look like trouble?

Ha. Make sure you don't spin the Kiwis around, said the lady.

Little did she know, we won't avoid troubles at all costs and ironically, we did drench in troubles and enjoy it all over with laughter. I could see her enviousness of how blissful it is to be young again, flaunting our youthfulness while embracing the mess.

That's where the story or journey begun.

Kia Ora!

2009-07-16T13:12:00.005+08:00

The graduation gift is so awesome.

Yes, yours truly is graduated from Australia and awaiting her graduation ceremony in a few days time. Less than ten days in Brisbane. I started to ponder so much about life when returning from Christchurch, especially when I first saw the green landscape and Brisbane River from the window. The notion of home just overwhelmed me. It's not the first time I have been conceiving this place as home, as it could be my last landing on Brisbane soil from my vacations again.

Will I miss my:

Freedom and mobility?
Definitely. Yes.

Housemates, or rather, ex-housemates?
My love for them is beyond words.

Photo courtesy of KM Lim

New friends?
Hell yes, especially Vincent the best French, Maarten the Dutch, Kelsey the Minnesota sweetie, Alan the Adelaide PhD chef, Karen the Singapore coolest camerawoman, Nathan the Ultimate Captain, Mei Lan the Beijing sweet-pie-so-sweet-I-wanna-bite-her, Jordan the West-East-North-South, Angela the piggy daughter, Cara the German tom, Alex the German handsome, Kaitlin the Pure Awesome Aussie, Julian the Awesome Captain, Rita the horny freak, Vicky the Hongkie silly, P'Boom the most caring Thai housemate, Sasi the Thai goddess, Daniel and Ken Choy the funniest colleagues, all the Disco Infernos and Pure Awesomeness team mates, and of course my favourite Munro guys!

VB and Kelsey

Awesome people from UQ Ultimate League

Disco Infernos (Summer) + Pure Awesomeness (Autumn)

Jordie and my favourite Munro guys

I heart Mei Lan and piggy Angela!

Stay at the Manors? Yes, it is a resort-like flat unit. Definitely loathing the management. The day we moved out, I left with so much of emptiness in a house that used to fill with so much of laughter and fun, and our downstairs neighbours are complicatedly friendly, as breaking down to a shy competitor in Facebook Tetris, another shy handsome competitor in making noise, and the third one speaks nothing but gibberish.

I am in the state of reverse homesickness, on one hand is I can't fully express all the things happened here, share the inside jokes that always crack me up, and that may result in some sort of emptiness, or loneliness; on the other hand, I prefer keeping that as untouched memories.

You have no idea how much the environment and the people are meant to the missy. And you know what, speaking of the Kiwis, it definitely cannot be squeezed into a post or two. I won't stuff you with heaps of wordings or pictures because the journey is more than just that.

Brilliant Cook

2009-06-24T11:56:00.003+08:00

Not that cook, cook. No, Dane Cook is only able to do sweep-off. David Cook's Always Be My Baby makes me shed some tears, literally. The original version has been a little cheerful (with saddening lyric), still it is good, but Cook outperforms it awesomely. My heart can just die right now.

Sometimes I have admiration for those Caucasians' quick sparkles in love. Just how quick one can lock lips on each other, passionate hugs, hit off, and eventually knowing each other in bed. Sounds so misfit in our culture, I know, but that's how they work things out. Romantic scenes usually end in the most heartbreaking way when somebody just comes up with a soft phrase, saying "That's it. We're done." Short. Precise. Definitely heartbreaking.

Let see, I have been playing this song more than 48 hours already. It now keeps spinning in my head. Watched "He's just not that into you" and we definitely fell for the last scene of how Ben Affleck committed into marriage and proposed to Jennifer Aniston. I have this neighbour/friend who used to tell us that he might end up like those mid-40s horny uncles who dance their life away with alcohol and ladies in night club - that's simply hilarious okay. Perhaps we are still young and appreciate nothing but freedom, have no siginificant belief in the whole concept of marriage. You just gotta love us for loving our lives so much that we're so reluctant to forgo our little self-pride for someone else. Why should our freedom be deprived by young commitments? Geez, I want all my every right of being stupid, reckless, and unplanned when I still get a chance to make a fool out of myself.

Geez, why am I acting like a furious youngster and talking like a 6-year-old? It's supposed to talk about Cook. I've just got drifted away. Will write a proper post once I return from somewhere awesome. Fuck yeah, I'm on vacation peeps!!!

Thank you and come again, prick

2009-06-16T22:18:00.005+08:00

A local lady*, who faked an Indian accent, called from an unknown number and yelled at me, saying that I'm an Indian dumb slut, named Deborah, who fucked his husband called Jai Ho.

And the background was filled with mischievous laughter. What a night. Might be those idiotic fuckers who lost in truth-or-dare game, got drunk and pulled a freaking lame prank on me. She also mentioned about Kings Cross, so I assume it could be related to the recent racial discrimination issues in Sydney and Melbourne. It could be not. But since she kept calling back, so back off bitch, stop telling me how much you loved your husband, who happened to call Jai Ho, because Deborah and Jai Ho will keep shagging till the days doom. Oh, and victory is with me. Get a better name next time.

*Why presumably local? She just accidentally uttered in local English accent, saying "She won't say anything" when I remained silent over the phone. Gotcha prick!

Touche

2009-06-02T16:25:00.004+08:00

Why can't we run with iPod?
We can't run with iPod because iPods are for people who can't be alone with their own thoughts.

- Bride Wars

In the Midst of Interpreting Results

2009-05-31T20:00:00.004+08:00

I revamped my blog. Because that cup of coffee beans lulled me into another sinful abyss. Coffee has somewhat blended in part of my life, and last night it even invaded into my slumberland. Yes, literally came lives into my dream.

The dream scenario was about three of us were moving out from our current place a day prior to the lease ended. So Debbie was working at night. She practically urged us to pack all our luggage and left the house before her. So we left house and dragged our luggage and literally walked to our new temporary place in Southbank. I could see the exact route in dream. And we frigging walked there. Upon reaching Southbank, all of the sudden I recalled of the forgotten packs of coffee still left in the kitchen cabinet.

"Oh my god! Ah-Dai, I forgot to tell Debbie that I still have my coffee in that cabinet!"

I didn't have any phone with me and so did Ah Dai. Interestingly, there came our ex-neighbours who so happened to stay in Southbank as well. TT spotted us. He ajak us for bak kut teh dinner. We very puzzled and asked, "Eh, Brisbane got bak kut teh one meh?"

"There, at the corner of Chinatown there." We then walked together to Chinatown. Literally walking instead of taking bus or train. So insane and I could feel myself was so knackered in sleeping state. And the most amazing part of all was, we saw Debbie sitting in the Chinese restaurant with her luggage. Like Lam Ah Chan like that. I couldn't wait but dash to the front of Debbie and told her about my coffee. "Huh? What coffee you talking about?" in her usual absent-minded tone. We ate bak kut teh as dinner, in Brisbane. Then we went back to our place and rested.

In the midst of sleeping, I woke up, couldn't care more about my safety and walked back to our previous flat unit and rescued my lonely coffee in that cabinet. Yes, without keys and stuffs, I thought I climbed from the balcony and got in the house, with no electricity and torch light, I walked to the kitchen, opened the upper cabinet, and *drum rolls*

NOTHING LEFT IN THE CABINET!!!!! Where goes my coffee la!!!!!!!!!

And that's the end of the story.

I think I'm destined to change everything into coffee mode today. So does my blog. Because my dream told me so.

Things I've Done when the Tissue Stuck in My Nostrils

2009-05-30T20:10:00.004+08:00

1. I'm typing an assignment - a proper market research report that has been depriving my joie de vivre. Further explanation: I woke up at 8am every morning, by alarm or jump off in shocking state, stayed in Chamberlain's lab until the latest was 8pm I went home and died in bed till next morning and the grind repeats. I feel like living a research analyst's life

2. Typing while playing Bejeweled Blitz - because I lose my voice, I barely talk for more than 24 hours already (minus the previous night I spent in bed after dinner). Feeling invisible in the house as I can't respond immediately to what my housemates say. So I'm bored. Ended up in Bejeweled Blitz, not even Word Challenge - enough torment of my brain.

3. Drinking and flushing - I fell sick mainly because of the heat though it's now autumn. My housemate urged me to drink plenty of water, which I did so much that I kept running in and out of toilet. How I wish my life is building on the toilet bowl... only for this moment ok.

4. Checking and refreshing inbox - I like writing heaps of emails for people and ironically the other side of me doesn't seem to work well with replying the received contents. Some people expect replies but the meaning of replying doesn't really occur to me. I practically foresee my negative relationship with clients if insisting on venturing in event organisation, though I really love all the challenges from organising an event.

5. Regaining my voice - Occasionally I speak to myself. So I know the regaining process. And now I sing along with the media player. Currently playing - All by Myself. Yeah right, what are the odds.

6. Learning how to breathe - you don't need a manual instruction to tell you how to breathe anyway. Nose block la what you expect.

7. CTRL+C and CTRL+V - You know I'm currently looking for good journals to aid my interpretation in Discussion section. That's what you read from a proper published journal, and am now having a chance to produce something you might need to cue in as literature review. Who cares anyway?

8. Whatever is a powerful word in English after FREE and SALES. It is presumably used by losers who couldn't refute and is going to lose in a debate/argument. It's like a triumph card to them, by uttering "Whatever." What are you gonna reply? Loser, right.

9. Tacky emotions. I hate being tacky to cue in any emoticon now for I'm being emotionless at the moment, or at least I don't feel like smiling, sticking tongue out, whatever. (Yes, loser.)

10. I'm still typing an assignment - progressing. I know I'm so gonna finish it by tonight. All in all, I walk my talk.

That's How I Fail the Exam but Win the Marker's Heart instead

2009-05-22T06:19:00.002+08:00

Question 1: Describe things in life that make you happy.

Answer:

Grab a microphone from nowhere and start stomping on my own desk, singing Happy's chorus by Natasha Bedingfield,

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love.
Got my friends got the sunshine above.
Why am I making this hard on myself,
When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy?

Marker's Comment:
The reason you failed the paper is obvious as you didn't even bother to write.

Appeal:
But the paper didn't state that I could not perform my answer verbally.

Result:
Yeah right. Still I love your answer, but it's an exam and for God's sake you should know it scores in written form.

Bride Wars

2009-05-20T17:50:00.007+08:00

is SO about BFFs. Nothing beats BFF in life, seriously. I mean, girls can be greatly good to each other like forever and they start some sorta cat fight in next scene. Girlfriends do fight over trivia. But who cares? We're still caring for each other in the end of the day. Because you think of more reasons to love the person who always stand beside you all along when troubles hit, rather than all the conflicts that happen from time to time. Girls are sharing creatures, like, they can repeat things to laugh over and over again.

Oh. My. Gosh. I just missed my girlfriends :(

Y'all know the best damn gathering happen in my life is that farewell. I cried in the car, cried to home, and my dad thought I've been bullied by you guys, seeing me in wet and sulky outfit. I never really told you guys that because I thought it might be kinda cheesy to do that - yeah by telling the fact that I wept after saying goodbye.

Y'all know the best damn laughter I've ever got is we were almost choked of laughing while singing China Dolls along the hallway to the cabin. Even the stewardess gazed at us in bewilderment. And forget not our imaginary PP story.

And you know what, despite it all, my BFF and girlfriends just don't read my blog.

Side note to the movie, well chick flick, and I'm so into Kate Hudson.

Ethics

2009-05-12T12:23:00.003+08:00

Business schools teach us about what business is and how to manage a business. We write papers with justifications, arguments with supporting literature, and self opinions talking about how educated we are at this stage being opinionated to critically review every single detail in real-world examples. To recap the course, we conclude everything we have learnt in business ethics and corporate social responsibility. Haven't you heard of anyone saying business is nothing about ethics? So what corporate companies do is the latter responsibility with the claims of community services, charities, establishing funds and foundations etc to eventually benefit the society.

So, the guest lecturer asked the hall of students about what first comes to mind about the word of ethics? as usual for a typical opener.

I, instead of raising my hands, scribbled on notebook, saying,

"Given the analogy of that if a religion were allowed killing, or killing has always been the right thing to deal problems with, it is then permissible to take one life without substantiating one's morality through his/her action."

I dunno, but most of the time, the essence of movie Thank You for Smoking always is being recalled in business policy class.

Nick Naylor, as a lobbyist, said lobbying requires a moral flexibility that goes beyond most people. Lobbying to defend a multinational corporation is about business, worse than that, a tobacco business to convince teenagers to smoke. I've been taught to think critically, to argue flexibly in both sides, and the thing is I don't have to tell the readers what exactly is the right or wrong thing to do and yet those arguments are to be justified it in reader's own set of principle.

The elders say, you're old enough to think for yourself, figure things out on your own, challenge the authority, if needed, to defend something you like but is not generally acceptable in the society. But again, it's not completely useless to teach about business ethics. Just that this set of guideline does not embed in us for the liberty we have in options.

Before 22

2009-04-29T05:45:00.002+08:00

Apart from growing older or perhaps wiser, being a grownup can be a very fun thing in self-discovery of taking courage to do something different in your life, even it begins from the minor unnoticeable trifles. Speaking of the travelling partners, these are the following things they lulled me in without second thought, and did I mention about feeding my long thirsted wanderlusts:

Pursuing tertiary study in Australia.
That's Forgan Smith building, one of the Queensland heritage buildings.

Making new friends randomly.
Adventurous travelling partners.

Clubbing with whole bunch of backpackers in Gold Coast.
4 clubs within a night. No courtesy pictures, and I'd say that was the wildest night I've ever had.

Unplanned travelling in a non-English country.
The point here is unplanned.

Enjoyed the ancient Kyoto Takigi Noh.
The point is thence luck.

Cold winter breeze on Mt Coo-tha lookout.
I envied those who brought blankets and quilts up there.

Playing Ultimate Frisbee.
Though I am still slow and lacking potential.

Actively participated in an organised event.
Brisbane City Romp Posse for Institute Burnett.

Conquered Mt Coolum.
208m, and it isn't that steep. And you just love everything viewing from the mountain peak.

Attended a live cricket show.
Complimentary ticket from City Romp.

Kayaking.
Riverlife staff boys are really hawt!

Attended a live concert of fabulous performers.
Pete Murray and the Audreys - they are goddamn awesome!

Scuba diving.
Though I had yet experienced to get down the water, nervous disorder struck.

Snorkelling alone.
Considering the fact that I could not even swim.

Cycling along Brisbane River.
Undeniably this city is a beauty in nature. This was the last thing I've done prior to concluding my birthday. Story Bridge as background, the coolest thing was we rode on floating pathway! Imagine that.

Of course I've left some of the undone - learn swimming and surfing! I see the confidence of youth from these people. For having such luxury of being a full time student, what more can I ask for then? Happy birthday to me, the lucky bastard.

Bookworm is My Middle Name

2009-04-25T22:00:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to participate and be a supporting mate in Ultimate Frisbee game this afternoon. The temptation of book wholesale was totally winning me over and successfully lulled me into such abyss, oh gosh, my feet just felt heavy to leave the hall.

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell for $3, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden for $2.50, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan for $2, The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks for $2, and Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code for only $1!!! Just tell me how not to buy as to those locals even bought in boxes! You can hardly see exclamation marks in my entry so it can tell about how excited I am, rather than shopping for clothes. Only light fictions for the moment as the academic journals are killing.

The biggest surprise of all is

I've got Christopher Buckley's Thank You for Smoking as birthday present from my mates! I AM ON CLOUD NINE!!! Millions thanks to the Delayed Present Officers Robbstar and Debbie who have got it from NSW collectible bookshop.

Now I wonder how am I supposed to carry all these books back, including those previous insane purchase that are enough to fit into a bookshelf. Serious issue hey.

Closer

2009-04-23T20:39:00.002+08:00

How would you compose a love story, or rather, what would your first line be in mind? Would it be something departing from the actual scene crossing in mind? How is the beginning, in terms of devious encounter, love at first sight, developing relationship? It is all built with a sugarplum tale without valid development beneath when reaching the climax, and here goes the writer's block and thence incomplete or soon-to-be dissed love story which made up in terrible structure. Soon you realise happy ending is produced by juicy delusion of grandeur because it is desirable to stand out as an impressive figure - to be somebody's muse, exclusively for the strangers.

Somebody said, it takes one moment to bring one into hall of fame despite the fact that it takes another moment to bring one down, or one is simply being forgettable. Fair trade.

Frustrated Consumer

2009-04-20T10:35:00.005+08:00

Courier company like DHL really have me enjoy utmost disappointment. Giving me notification via SMS to arrange delivery time with a confirmation of delivering within certain time frame but what I've got is merely waiting without any further notification. I called and asked about the status, and the best part was the customer-fucking-service attendant argued about their never-will-I promise in delivery, what in hell were you raising your voice if you were destroying my productivity in the first place?!

So why on earth should we make any time arrangement if you could never make it within that given time frame, huh?

Excuse about your staff are busy and SO AM I! Yes, a very frustrated consumer who could only write vitriolic comment about your company and criticise only your efficiency - and its definitely in my doubt of believing you deliver on your absurd claims. Scoff at your brand whatever trust, credibility, value... it's all bullshit and stop selling that!

The Best Break-up Scene

2009-04-10T12:51:00.002+08:00

Luke Shapiro: Do me a favour, Steph?
Stephanie: Huh?

Don't say nothing, ok? Just stand there till I leave.
I wanna remember this. I've never done this before.
Never done what?

Had my heart broken.

- The Wackness

Learn to be Lonely

2009-04-04T10:30:00.004+08:00

That is this truth beneath your mask is an undecipherable loneliness. You are only to be able to say it has happened after living it through - a self-propelling cycle, even of learning to be lonely.

Safer

2009-04-01T22:42:00.003+08:00

For a person who hardly keeps in touch with the others, I don't really have anything. And it just seems to slip through my hands whenever I take a count on how time passes since we last met. The years we've been knowing each other only is a number to be kept for dateline references. You mean something into one of the chapters in life but it still gradually fades away until the memory fails to recall of your physical features. I just selfishly want to feel a little safer for not having you close to me, so as losing you would not pierce my heart.

Song of the day: Safer by Gabriella Cilmi

Deadlines are bastards...

2009-03-30T11:59:00.002+08:00

I'm rather satisfied with all the lecturers and tutors in this semester. Just that the young Asian guy as tutor for Business Policy class, well he just seems a little uptight. Extremely diligent group mates stress me out. Oh and good-looking lecturer just adds up some kind of entertaining element. You can't imagine how funny it is to have a sophisticated handsome pours in a lot of emotions in course email, like tee-hee. I don't even write that in any form of email.

I bought two amazing books and yet couldn't manage to read any one of them for the mean time. Still looking for 'Thank you for smoking' by Christopher Buckley. Feeling of being defeated is never pleasant - until you score and hit the spot with fantastic arguments that can reverse the winning aspect to your position, regardless the fact you have just distorted appears to be not right, as the case in point is proving the opposite is wrong.

Being cynical is fun.

Speaking of an exact answer of right or wrong, well seriously, nothing is definite anymore by contemplating discerning aspects or probability in a subject of interest. Or it could be the sequela of writing research paper for you don't use definite tone in promising impression.

Details suck. Of which explains why I hardly blog now. It's not fun to be routinised. Feeling good to be drowned in the sound of boisterous laughter when having Syamir to play in Ultimate Frisbee. God knows why I love running these days.

..., shopping in Autumn is dessert.

The Pick-up and an Awesome Comeback

2009-03-04T07:58:00.004+08:00

Aussies drive in and pick up their cheap pizzas at Domino's, while starving students picked up theirs by public transports. More Aussies from the bus and ferry wanted to steal our pizza boxes. It indeed was not a crime of tempting all the hungry people out there but we did really have had some night. Settling down in our dining room, schmoozing over some frivolous topics until that lady pulled the entire conversation up to the climax when he said...

“我只是犯了全天下男人都会犯的错。”

and she replied with an awesome comeback, said

“你犯了全天下女人都不会原谅的错。”

Yeah right, isn't she quick? *shrug*

Buttercake in Reduced Price

2009-02-22T11:45:00.006+08:00

I've known as someone who knows what she wants since in high school. I didn't sketch a future plan and yet I realised what was good and whatnot. People and forwarded emails and little stories brainwash me with how significance the present could hold as one lives at present times. No, there's nothing corny like preaching about how one can live happier now without getting fidgeted of whats-in tomorrow. Little do I know, the future is on the set while the present is playing along with a sketch I first daubed with ink. And thus I get lost when those inks smear.

I once talked to one of my favourite tutors. She talked about people do not want to mess with their glorious certificate (of course the students have their methods to degrade the teaching standard), and instead they enrol in Chinese Language 101, score a HD and hooray, am freaking graduated. Like throwing RM7000 for a stupid language course which you can get way cheaper out there and learn something more practical.

That's it, I told her, "that's definitely not what I want. But I'm just not good enough for all the final exams. I hate memorising those things from the textbook and then I've got misjudged for not being able to understand the course." She gave me a weak smile and replied firmly, "that's how the world works." Perhaps I haven't got out from my comfort zone yet. Hate it doesn't mean you don't have to deal with it even you abandon it as stinky stash in your backyard.

A learning present or a secured future, the choice goes in line with cause-and-effect chain so like it or not, it doesn't really matter because the consequences are perceptible.

After Stepping Foot on Other Cities

2009-02-20T22:03:00.003+08:00

I still prefer Brisbane.

Not because of my stay right here. Comparisons were being made along the journeys and yet one just wanted to cast eyes on something familiar - to find a peace and stability within an insecure soul. Say, you find Safeway is nothing more lively than Woolworth; McCafe has more outlets than Subway; Commonwealth ATMs are like everywhere in the corners of Sydney city; ST cabs nurture cranky drivers on Melbourne streets, and definitely more than I could mention here. The first night of arrival at Kings Cross, I almost fainted and drowned in the crowd while searching for a simple dinner. Felt suffocated in cigarrettes' smokes. Luckily, I've got myself a Fanta.

Talking about Friday and Saturday nights in Australia, it's equally insane in the cities regardless of which state you are in - everyone is drinking hard, hollering out loud, sweating all over, and drunkards stink. And most of the time, they just scare the crap out of me :( bloody cherry. Robbstar replaced my cherry with a toast. Lamb her.

The one last thing I feel about a new city is, you compare everything when you first land on it until you start adapting in it, you live with it and the next day, you leave with a heavy heart.

At least that's what I did.