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Holiday Muse

Going on a vacation is something you would always think of when work is too stressful, lunch is too bland, and clockwatching is the only hobby from work. But I am telling you this - planning a vacation can be stressful or it might trigger unnecessary arguments between 2 or more hopeful souls who have been longed for routes to the oasis. Ok little bit too far-fetched but I've made my point.Anyway, if a vacation is that stressful, why would you spend money and still worry about a lot of uncertainties ahead? Some call it adventurous but a lot of them just fear of every single step they make that would ruin their holiday. Some employers are even evil to rub the salt on your wound by instructing their employees to stay online even when the employees are entitled to get on leave. Seriously, as if expecting the uncertainties in a foreign country is just not enough. So, here I am at the airport, musing about how should I behave like I am on a stress-free vacation. First, not reacting to e…

平凡中的涟漪

男人买了两杯咖啡 坐在靠商店一侧的座位 等待着女人购物回来。女人一心只想着找双高跟鞋 走遍了每个角落 耐心地试鞋 再站起 对着全身镜摆着姿势 努力让镜中的自己穿的好看些。殊不知 这一连串的动作看得男人发呆 深思。女人很开心地拎着一袋鞋盒往咖啡厅走去。嘴上直夸货品价廉物美 噼里啪啦神采飞扬地述说刚才的经历。可能心里觉得男人不会理会她在店里干嘛 所以有必要讲讲。第二天下午 男人传了个简讯给在忙着的女人: '欸 你知不知道?
昨天我在店外看着你专注地找鞋。
我试问自己 如果再给我一次机会重来 我会不会选择和你交往?
我想我还是会选你。
知道为什么吗?
因为你很漂亮'女人在百忙中看到简讯 懵了 也笑了。

New Dawn

In 2008, I was a year shy of being an eligible voter. Being far away from home, all I could do was following the election news update via social media. Vendetta mask was widely displayed, as well as the movie quotes were popularised in emphasising the significance of people's voice. It was also the first time I heard of a louder voice of wanting change for the country. 
In 2013, the queue outside of my designated polling station was super long before sunrise. My younger, ineligible friend was so excited to feel the hype of UBAH and we waited in the line together. Restriction of journalism and speech did not hinder the people to campaign about the change we wanted. People from all over world were making an effort to cast their votes despite the physical distance. We saw unity in Bersih and felt united on election day. However, this year, we experienced the dirtiest and darkest election fraud in the history of GE. The result pained us so much we thought we could never see the change…

岸上的人还在吗?

曾经有个要好的女性友人 当初认识她是在同一家公司上班。我们常结伴吃午餐和喝下午茶 当然就少不了了解也聊是非。她经常埋怨自己的男友不够成熟稳重 事业不稳定 不帅 占有欲强 - 就是种种的不是。我们当然好奇 怎么啦 那当初是怎么在一起的。话说 原来是初恋 中学时代的生涩到现在的'老夫老妻'。那么 既然有那么多的不满 为什么还在一起呢? 原来女生有提过分手 而男生都不曾答应过 单方的拒绝过 只是后来还是挨在一起。女生有试过找其他男生来气走男友 只是又不忍心看到男友难过 所以还是回到男友的身边。在外人眼里 这是一对注定要么缠在一起 要么早晚要分开的 就定论一定不幸福的一对。渐渐地 劝和的慢慢也开始劝离 。有时候好不容易挨过一个月的'分手' 女生又被哄回去。再后来 我们就很少再提及他们俩的事 - 第一 就觉得 哎 贱骨头 第二 清官难审家事。纯粹充当需要倾诉的对象就好 至少我们都默默的支持她。然而有一天 她哭了 找我倾诉。我以为她被欺负了 就把她拽出来喝茶聊天 通话中 她比刚开始那刻平静下来 沉默了好一阵子 我问 喂 这次该不会是他先开口吧 不然你会哭成这样。她回 不是的 有些感慨。感情这么多年了 依赖变成我们之间微妙的感觉 不再只有恋爱时的激情 不再只有轰轰烈烈。你知道吗 这么多年 他尝试为我改变 守护我 尤其是我家事 他都倾心尽力 我们的感情却平静得像细水长流。停顿了一会儿 她内疚地低下头 轻叹 在这段感情里 我千方百计地要离开他 而他总是想尽办法挽留这段关系 我也不知道我到底在逃什么说完 我们沉默了几年过去了 今年两人开始筹备婚礼 婚纱照公布那天 她写下 最美的年纪 嫁给 最稳妥的你 从他俩的经历来说 我是欣慰的 - 女生回头是岸 而岸上的男生从来没离开过 反而想尽办法挪前一步步的靠近。终究感情的事还需当事人去判断去留。这世界充满诱惑 人的耐性少了 什么都讲究速度 判断力讲求快狠准 偏见式的判断和意见 多狠哪。在人事里 吃亏的往往是坚持下去的人 当然也有少数的成功例子 包括他俩。这样的世界里 有多少段感情是那么的脆弱 经不起风浪 而被淹没。哪段感情能永远保鲜呢? 哪对情侣没意见分岔的时候? 激情过后 还爱不爱 是让外界去定夺吗? 当然前提是 大家抱着找终身伴侣的理念去尝试在一起。

I want to write again

I want to write again.

I stop reading when I stop writing, which decelerates learning - as if it's important to restart this habit. I used to write a lot, ranging from intelligible advice, biased perspective of society, college/office whine, daily experience, melancholy, to total gibberish, and that made me happy after clicking the Publish button. At one point of time, I was rather obsessed with customising the blog background and layout by using the basic html. I could achieve great satisfaction from writing and building website; what's more imagine it was the era without much resources from Google, 8MP phone camera, photoshop software, and widgets.

Recall of when I stopped writing:

After starting my second job - it was a crazily-skewed learning curve at work and at office politics. I didn't have much time to write and whine and I knew it added more negativity by writing them out. I worried I might regret one day for the outpourings of discontent with life.Blogging politic…

Do I like my introduction?

Stripping off your salutation and professional title from your 16 active hours, have you ever wondered of how would you want to introduce yourself to a stranger again? I walked on foreign street and smiled at whoever came from the opposite. Stopped at the pier, I sat at the bench with draught beer in hand and ignited my blank mode - people watching. At one point of time, I was mentally rehearsing about what should I talk about if someone initiated a conversation. Then, I ran out of words for self introduction. First, your name. Second, your nationality? It's weird in certain occasions unless someone asks.Third, who are you? Probably you think of what you do for a living, or your corporate title, or maybe the industry you are in. Fourth, stuck in awkwardness. You think hard of what makes you an interesting person, and nothing pops up. I reckoned it's stuck at 'what do you do and how do you do it' part. Then, I ordered another beer and pondered what kind of person I am. …

Closing for my 20s

Yes, I'm heading to 30s era in the next few days. Albeit it's just a number you'd say, big deal haha. Nonetheless, it's the most vital decade of my life - moments I was sane and courageous enough to face problems, make decisions, get through them, and look back of how it started and where I ended. Let's review the trend of this decade with a few words:
20-22: Fidgeting time. Countless first encounters and experiences. Where true friends bonded. Happiest and most carefree times.23-25: Toughest time. Moving out. Job after job. Tight financials. Steep learning curve on life, work and people. Lost star in the galaxy. 26-29: Turning point after meeting the love of my life. Not getting easy but it gets better when someone is there to lend a shoulder. Mistakes
When I was on holiday last week, I was putting so much thoughts about this reflection. On one of the conversations, my husband asked me why was I not getting in touch with friends who used to be so close with. Paused…